It’s time for The Dropkick Murphys to usher in the holidays.
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Department Of I Can’t Believe I Just Figured This Out
This would be the appeal of the actor Jennifer Coolidge, who sashayed ( Tottered? Shuffled? Stumbled? [1] ) to stardom, or at least notoriety, in supporting roles such as the awkward manicurist Paulette in Legally Blonde.
Watch the Netflix movie Single All The Way , [2] and you’ll get it the attraction. Coolidge, although female, is the quintessential Drag Queen With A Heart Of Gold ®.
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Department Of Good Fortune
Last Friday daughter Belle and her coworkers took a company “field trip” to another Washington state cidery. [3] Belle wanted to make some treats for the bus ride [4] up the Olympic Peninsula and made fortune cookies for the occasion. She sent me a picture of the fortunes she inserted into the cookies. With her permission, I’ve listed some of my favorites below.
Belle:
“These are the fortunes I’m using; ___ (friend from work) and I brainstormed them together. We wanted most of them to be vague/ominous, with a few nice ones, too. And some straight up silly. Like the winning Powerball numbers from a month ago.”
* You will be evidence in the trial
* Remember the importance of load bearing walls
* You will face a life-or-death decision in February
* You would look great with bangs…if you dare
* You have forgotten something important – tomorrow you must remember
* In three days’ time, you will experience a fish
* You are being deceived
* Profit = revenue – costs
* Sat. Sept 6 Powerball: 11, 23, 44, 61, 62, 17
* Your anxiety is the gift of precognition, trust it
* You will encounter your next cat in a Fred Meyer parking lot
* Luck is coming your way! Remember to share it with rats
* Follow the next crab you see to receive a rare blessing
* Never underestimate contraptions
* Do: experiment with new fonts; Don’t: eye contact with mannequins
* You must atone in a bog for the offenses committed in a fen
* Your fears are well-founded
* The naked man fears no pickpocket
* Amphibians have no scruples, proceed with caution
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Department Of Finalist For Best Euphemism Ever
Dateline: October 21; 5:30 am; reading the Carolyn Hax advice column. The woman writing to CH has a husband, who was raised by a “deeply spiritual” mother who forbade his childhood participation in Halloween activities. Not only has her husband left those childhood superstitions and beliefs behind, as an adult he *loves* Halloween. However, as a new parent, and he has had a sudden, panicked change of heart: he is asking his wife to hide from his mother pictures of their 11-month-old old son dressed up in a lion outfit for Halloween. This is because he fears it will distress his deeply spiritual mother: “He says he thinks it will so profoundly upset his mom that she seriously could have a heart attack because she is very afraid of the devil.”
Yep, really. That’s what the LW wrote.
The source for Best Euphemism Ever came from one astute CH commentator, who noted:
“…’deeply spiritual’ is a euphemism for bat guano crazy. “
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Department Of Whatever Happened To….?
“…a decentralized international activist and hacktivist collective and movement primarily known for its various cyberattacks against several governments, government institutions and government agencies, corporations, and the Church of Scientology.
Anonymous originated in 2003 on the imageboard 4chan representing the concept of many online and offline community users simultaneously existing as an ‘anarchic‘, digitized ‘global brain‘ or ‘hivemind‘. Anonymous members (known as anons) can sometimes be distinguished in public by the wearing of Guy Fawkes masks in the style portrayed in the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta….
( excerpts, Wikipedia entry for Anonymous [hacker group] )
Starting in 2003, The Anonymous collective became known for DDOS (distributed denial-of-service) attacks on government, religious, and corporate websites. A few of their more (in)famous attacks were on the Syrian Ministry of Defense, Scientology, the Westboro Baptist Church, the KKK, and Operation Avenge Assange. According to a timeline of events attributed to Anonymous, it looks as if they’ve been “silent” since 2024.
Are Anonymous freedom fighters or cyber mob terrorists? Hmmm, that might depend on your POV. A loose collective with no top-down organization (or organization of any kind, some say), Anonymous hasn’t been heard from since…well, since the world has *really* needed them, IMO. There are so many causes to which I wish they would apply their skills – could it be that our democracy will be “saved” by an anarchist collective? – as long as they agree with moiself re what those causes are. [5]
Translation: I realize that if the genie granted me such a wish, it should come with the caveat that Anonymous might apply their skills to causes I’d disapprove of.
Perhaps a general rise in their areas of expertise (hacking) means Anonymous are now more likely to be caught (and indeed, dozens people around the world have been arrested, prosecuted, and even jailed for their supposed participation in Anonymous activities) than when they first became active on the world stage, and thus…my pipe dream…they are still around but are temporarily keeping a low profile while calculating how to best save the world from the Frito-Faced Fascist.
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Department Of Just Wondering
Chapter 103 In A Never-Ending Series
Can I be just…whelmed? I think it’s an actual word – one with archaic origins, and nobody uses it anymore, although we do employ the modified versions. As in, I know that at times I have felt overwhelmed or underwhelmed. But moiself cannot recall the state of being or experiencing an average amount of whelm.
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Department Of The Ghost Of Halloween Memories Past
The entrance to the now-defunct bar was in an alley between Bryant and Ramona in downtown Palo Alto. 42nd Street was a popular hangout in the 1980s. It attracted a mostly young, college age/new worker bee crowd, although patrons ranged from big-haired, spandex-clad new wave/metal fans to pretentious grad students from nearby Stanford University to businessmen and tech entrepreneurs and soon-to-be/self-described “creatives,” the latter group fond of snarkily commenting on how the bar was *nothing* like the New York saloons it so earnestly wanted to imitate.
42nd Street did have its distinctive ambience, with an abundance of standing and hanging plants and ferns, dark wood paneling, an overhanging second floor and a system of ceiling fans propelled by pulleys, a small dance floor – at that time it was one of the more unique bars in Palo Alto. [6]
Dateline: Palo Alto CA; October 31, 6 pm-ish; 42nd Street. Moiself, in full Halloween regalia – dark dress and tights, black clod-hopping boots, green face makeup, bridal veil, hair with a white streak running from forehead to the back of teased hair – is seated in a booth with a colleague who had not worn a costume to work. We are engaged in an earnest discussion about the virtues of the so-called classic works of American literature, [7] including whether or not The Great American Novel® [8] was a thing, or just a promotional scam.
I notice that every now and then my work friend taps his pipe against the table’s ashtray [9] (that was back when you could still smoke in bars) and stifles a smirk. The fourth time he performs his pipe-tapping ritual I catch the bemused look in his eyes.
“What?” I ask him.
“It’s just…” he shakes his head, “I’m having a serious discussion about the merits of The Scarlet Letter and Moby Dick with The Bride of Frankenstein.”
“And your point would be?!?!?!”
* * *
Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week [10]
Hannibal Buress is an American comic, writer, producer, actor, musician and businessman.
* * *
May you never be the evidence in anyone’s trial;
May you remember the euphemism if anyone calls you, “deeply spiritual;”
May you make someone a sandwich when they’re struggling;
…and may the hijinks ensue.
Thanks for stopping by. Au Vendredi!
* * *
[1] It wasn’t leapt; she’s been a working actor for years.
[2] It’s like a (Canadian) Hallmark Christmas movie. Don’t ask how/why I know this.
[3] Belle is QA manager for Schilling Cider.
[4] Every field trip should have a bus ride, no matter how old you are.
[5] And, most importantly, what the solutions should – and shouldn’t – include.
[6] “Michael Patrick Partners, a nationally recognized design studio, announced today that its two founding partners…are retiring before year’s end…Communication Arts published a story that featured the creative chops of the local advertising, design, illustration and photography tribes of Palo Alto, California, being fueled by the early high-technology startups of Silicon Valley. Within the story was a photograph of the 40 or so independent creatives at their favorite watering hole, a bar called 42nd Street. ” (excerpt and picture from “Michael Patrick Partners: Last Men Standing, 43 Years and 500 Awards Later, San Francisco design studio looks back on surviving earthquakes, financial meltdowns, global pandemics and recessions.” EIN Presswire, Feb 27, 2023 )
[7] We were both fiction writers, both working in “civilian” publishing jobs, both a few years shy of having our respective first books published.
[8] “In 1868, a little-known writer by the name of John William DeForest proposed a new type of literature, a collective artistic project for a nation just emerging from an existential conflict: a work of fiction that accomplished “the task of painting the American soul.” It would be called the Great American Novel, and no one had written it yet, DeForest admitted. Maybe soon.” (excerpt, “The Great American Novel,” The Atlantic, March 14, 2024 )
[9] Yes, he smoked a pipe – fully admitting that he took it up because (1) it was different, and (2) he thought that it made him somehow seem more “literary.”
[10] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists. No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.” Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org
