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The War On The Holidays I’m (Still) Not Declaring

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Department Of Here They Come

Halloween (aka All Hallow’s Eve); Samhain; All Saint’s Day; El Dia de los Muertos; Mischief Night, Diwali…

In the USA and in northern hemisphere countries around the world, there are multiple holidays with a relationship to “our” Halloween.  The relationship is as per the time of year and/or the theme, underlying beliefs, customs or origins of the various celebrations.

Many of these holidays originated as dual celebrations – acknowledgments of times of both death and rebirth – as celebrants marked the end of the harvest season and acknowledged the cold, dark winter to come.

And after Halloween, the holiday season really gets going.

 

 

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Department Of Life Is Tough But It’s Even Tougher If You’re Stupid
Chapter 22467 in a (never-ending) series

The idea of a “War on Christmas” has turned things like holiday greetings and decorations into potentially divisive political statements. People who believe Christmas is under attack point to inclusive phrases like “Happy Holidays” as (liberal) insults to Christianity….

Christmas is a federal holiday celebrated widely by the country’s (shrinking) Christian majority.  So where did the idea that it is threatened come from?

“The most organized attack on Christmas came from the Puritans, who banned celebrations of the holiday in the 17th century because it did not accord with their interpretation of the Bible….”
(“How the ‘War on Christmas’ Controversy Was Created,” NY Times, 12-19-16)

 

 

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Department Of If Something Seems Familiar, That’s Because It’s Time For
My Annual Holiday Traditions Explained ® Post

What do we vegetarians, vegans, non-meat and/or plant-based eaters
do on Thanksgiving?
( Other than, according to your Aunt Erva, RUIN  IT  FOR  EVERYONE  ELSE.  [1]  )

The above question is an existential dilemma worthy of Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, who wrote eloquent discourses on the subjective and objective truths one must juggle when choosing between a cinnamon roll and a chocolate swirl.   [2]

 

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Department Of I’ll Take Those Segues Where I Can Find Them


Four weeks from today will be the day-after feasting, for many of us. Then, just when you’re recovering from the last leftover turkey sandwich/quiche/casserole/enchilada-induced salmonella crisis and really, really, need to get outside for some fresh air, here comes the Yule season. You dare not even venture to the mall, lest your eardrums be assaulted from all sides by  Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, Feliz Navidad, ad nauseum.

This observation provides a convenient segue to my annual, sincere, family-friendly,  [3]

Heathens Declare War On Christmas © post.

 

 

As to those Henny Penny/Chicken Little hysterics proclaiming a so-called “war” on Christmas, a rational person can only assume that they are not LGBTQ, or Jewish or a member of another minority religion, or an ethnic minority – in other words, they’ve never experienced actual bigotry (or actual combat).  If they had, it’s likely they would not have trivialized discrimination (or war) with their whining.

The usage of  “Happy Holidays” as an “attack on Christianity” is an invention of right-wing radio talk show hosts.   Happy Holidays  is nothing more nor less than an encompassing shorthand greeting – an acknowledgement of the incredible number of celebratory days, religious and otherwise (aka “the holiday season”), which in the U.S. is considered to start in October with Halloween, moving on to November with Thanksgiving (although our Canadian neighbors and friends celebrate their Thanksgiving in October) and extending into and through January, with the various New Year celebrations.

It is worthwhile to note that while many if not most Americans, Christian or not, celebrate Christmas, there are also some Christians who, on their own or as part of their denomination’s practice or decree (e.g., Jehovah’s Witnesses; The Worldwide Church of God), do *not* celebrate Christmas   [4]   (nor did our much-ballyhooed forebears, the Pilgrims).  Also, the various Orthodox Christian denominations use calendars which differ from most Protestant and Catholic calendars (a biggie for them at this time of the year is the Nativity of Christ, which occurs on or around January 7).

Happy Holidays — it’s plural, and for good reason.  It denotes the many celebrations that happen during these months.  People in the northern hemisphere countries, from North, Central and South Americans and Egyptians to the Celts and Norskis, have marked the Winter Solstice for thousands of years, and many still do.  And some Americans, including our friends, neighbors and co-workers, celebrate holidays that although unconnected with the winter solstice occur near it, such as Ramadan, Diwali, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

 

The Chinese (lunar) New Year began on February 17; in 2027, The Year of the Fire Goat (or Ram) will begin on February 5

 

Most folks are familiar with the “biggies”- Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day. But don’t forget the following holidays, many of which my family has learned about (or celebrated with) via our children’s teachers and fellow students, and our neighbors and co-workers.

* The Birth of the Prophet (Nov. 12) and Day of the Covenant (Nov. 26) are both Baha’i holy days  (our family has had Baha’i teachers, childcare providers, and neighbors).

* St. Nicholas Day (Dec. 6).

* Bodhi Day.  Our Buddhist friends and neighbors celebrate Bodhi Day on December 8 (or on the Sunday immediately preceding).

* Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (Dec 12).

* St. Lucia Day (Dec. 13) Our Swedish neighbors and friends celebrate St. Lucia Day, as did one of our daughter Belle’s and son K’s schools, when they were in grade school (Belle, as the oldest 3rd grade girl, got to play St. Lucia).

* Bill of Rights Day (Dec 15).

* Pancha Ganapati Festival (one of the most important Hindu festivals, Dec. 21st through the 25th,  celebrated by many of MH’s coworkers).

* The Winter Solstice (varies, Dec.  21 or 22, this year on the 21st ).

* Little Christmas Eve (Dec.  23) Celebrated by my family, LCE was a custom of the small Norwegian village of my paternal grandfather’s ancestors.

* Boxing Day (Dec. 26), celebrated by our Canadian-American and British-American neighbors and friends.

*Ramadan and/or Eid, the Islamic New Year (as Islam uses a lunar calendar, the dates of their holidays varies, but these holidays sometimes occur during November-December)

* The Chinese New Year.  I always look forward to wishing my sister-in-law, a naturalized American citizen who is Cantonese by birth, a Gung Hay Fat Choy.  (The Chinese Lunar calendar is the longest chronological record in history, dating from 2600 BCE.  The New Year is celebrated on second new moon after the winter solstice, and so can occur in January or February).

This is not a complete list. See why it’s easier to say, “Happy Holidays?”

The USA is one of the most religiously diverse nations in the world.  To insist on using the term “Merry Christmas” as the all-encompassing seasonal greeting could easily be seen as an attack on the religious beliefs of all of the Americans who celebrate the *other* holidays and festivals.  At the least, it denotes the users’ ignorance of their fellow citizens’ beliefs and practices.

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Department Of Did You Know…

…that the Reverend Increase Mather of Boston observed in 1687 that, “the early Christians who first observed the Nativity on December 25 did not do so thinking that Christ was born in that Month, but because the Heathens’ Saturnalia was at that time kept in Rome, and they were willing to have those Pagan Holidays metamorphosed into Christian ones.”   [5]

…that because of its known pagan origins, Christmas was banned by the Puritans, and its observance was illegal in Massachusetts until 1681.   [6]

 


“Do you celebrate Christmas?”

We Heretics/apostates non-Christians Happy Heathens ®  often hear this question at this time of year.  The inquiry is sometimes presented in ways that imply our celebration (or even acknowledgement) of Christmas is hypocritical.  This implication is the epitome of cheek, when you consider the fact that it is the early Christians who stole a festival from our humanist (pagan) forebears, and not the other way around.

Who doesn’t like a party, for any reason? And we who are religion-free don’t mind sharing seasonal celebrations with religious folk – sans the superstition and government/church mumbo-jumbo –  as long as they accept the fact that the ways we all celebrate this “festive season” predate Christianity by hundreds of years.

 

 

Early Roman Catholic missionaries tried to convert northern Europeans to the RC brand of Christianity, and part of the conversion process was to alter the pagan’s existing religious festivals. The indigenous folk, whom the RC church labeled “barbarians,” quickly discovered that when it came to dealing with missionaries, resistance is futile. The pagans intuitively grasped the concept of natural selection and converted to Christianity to avoid the price (persecution, torture, execution) of staying true to their original beliefs.  But they refused to totally relinquish their traditional celebrations, and so the church, eventually and effectively, simply renamed most of them.    [7]

Pagan practices were given a Christian meaning to wipe out “heathen” revelry.  This was made official church policy in 601 A.D., when Pope Gregory the First issued the now infamous edict to his missionaries regarding the traditions of the peoples they wanted to convert. Rather than try to banish native customs and beliefs, missionaries were directed to assimilate them. You find a group of people decorating and/or worshiping a tree? Don’t chop it down or burn it; rather, bless it in the name of the Church.  Allow its continued worship, only tell the people that, instead of celebrating the return of the sun-god in the spring, they are now worshiping the rising from the dead of the Son of God.

 

 

( Easter is the one/odd exception, where a pagan celebration was adapted by Christians without a name change. Easter is a word found nowhere in the Bible. It comes from the many variants (Eostra, Ester, Eastra, Eastur….) of a Roman deity, goddess of the dawn “Eos” or “Easter,” whose festival was in the Spring.)

The fir boughs and wreaths; the Yule log; plum pudding; gift exchanges; feasting; the holly and the ivy and the evergreen tree….It is hard to think of a “Christmas” tradition that does not originate from Teutonic (German), Viking, Celtic, and Druid paganism.    [8]   A celebration in the depths of winter – at the time when, to those living in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun appears to stop its southerly descent before gradually ascending north – is a natural instinct. For thousands of years our Northern Hemisphere ancestors greeted the “reason for the season” – the winter solstice – with festivals of light and gift exchanges and parties.  The Winter Solstice was noted and celebrated long before the Roman Jesus groupies pinched the party.

But, isn’t “Jesus is the reason for the season”?

The reason for the season?  Cool story, bro.  Since you asked; actually, axial tilt is the reason for the season.  For *all* seasons.

 


And Woden is the reason the middle of the week is named Wednesday.   [9]   My calling Wednesday “Wednesday“ doesn’t mean I celebrate, worship, or “believe in” Woden.  I don’t insist on renaming either Christmas, or Wednesday.

 

“Now, go fetch me the brazen little sheisskopfs who took the Woden out of Woden’s Day!”


The Winter Solstice is the day with the shortest amount of sunlight, and the longest night. In the northern hemisphere it falls on what we now mark as December 21 or 22.  However, it took place on December 25th at the time when the Julian calendar was used.  [10]   The early Romans celebrated the Saturnalia on the Solstice, holding days of feasting and gift exchanges in honor of their god Saturn ( Other major deities whose birthdays were celebrated on or about the week of December 25   [11]   included Horis,

 Huitzilopochtli, Isis, Mithras, Marduk, Osiris, Serapis and Sol ).  The Celebration of the Saturnalia was too popular with the Roman pagans for the new Christian church to outlaw it, so the new church renamed the day and reassigned meanings to the traditions.    [12]

In other words, why are some folk concerned with “keeping the Christ in Christmas”  [13]  when we should be keeping the Saturn in Saturnalia?

 

 

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Whatever your favorite seasonal celebrations may be, moiself  wishes you all the best.

May you have the occasion to (with good humor) ruin it for everyone else;
May you find it within yourself to ignore the Black Friday mindset;
May you remember to keep the Saturn in Saturnalia;
…and may the fruitcake-free hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

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[1] You have an Aunt Erva, somewhere.  We all do.

[2] Damn right I’m proud of that one.

[3] Well, yeah, as compared to the usual shit I write.

[4] And a grade school friend of mine, whose family were Jehovah’s Witnesses, considered being told, “Merry Christmas” to be an attack on *her* beliefs.

[5] “Increase Mather, A Testimony against Several Prophane and Superstitious Customs, Now Practiced by Some in New England” (London, 1687).  See also Stephen Nissenbaum, The Battle for Christmas: A Cultural History of America’s Most Cherished Holiday,” New York: Vintage Books, 1997.

[6] Stephen Nissenbaum, “The Battle for Christmas: A Cultural History of America’s Most Cherished Holiday.”

[7] “Paganism in Christianity.”

[8]  “Learn not the way of the heathen…their customs are vain, for one cuts a tree out of the forest…they deck it with silver and gold…” Jeremiah 10:2-5

[9] Wednesday comes from the Old English Wōdnesdæg, the day of the Germanic god Wodan (aka Odin, highest god in Norse mythology and a big cheese god of the Anglo-Saxons until the seventh century.)

[10] The Julian calendar, adopted by Julius Caesar ~ 46 B.C.E., was off by 11 min/year, and when the Gregorian calendar was established by Pope – wait for it – Gregory,  the solstice was established on 12/22.

[11] The Winter Solstice and the Origins of Christmas, Lee Carter.

[12] In 601 A.D., Pope Gregory I issued a now famous edict to his missionaries regarding wooing potential converts: don’t banish peoples’ customs, incorporate them. If the locals venerate a tree, don’t cut it down; rather, consecrate the tree to JC and allow its continued worship.

[13] And nothing in the various conflicting biblical references to the birth of JC has the nativity occurring in wintertime.

 

 

 

The Contestants I’m Not Rooting For

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Okay; perhaps a wee bit o’ hyperbole in the blog title.  I refer to the crop of contestants in the current season of The Great British Baking Show.  And I am rooting for some of them.  This is rare; I usually root for everyone.  But (so far), not this time.

Moiself  is disappointed with this year’s…crop of contestants…no; that’s not quite it.  What do you call a group of bakers – an oven?  A rise?  A batch?  A batter – that’s the one.

 

 

Yet again, I digress.

I am disappointed with this year’s batter of bakers.  Maybe, like mold on the forgotten pie that’s been cooling on a windowsill since the Fourth of July, they’ll grow on me.  Usually, I like the majority of the home bakers and root for them all.  But more and more, as in, with each passing season and TGBBS  gains popularity and viewership, it seems to me that there are certain contestants who don’t care about the baking as much as they care about what they think being on the show can do for them: get themselves in the public eye, and establish – gawd, I hate even typing this – a brand or platform for future ventures.  These wannabe celebs mug for the cameras – they act Special Enough ®  to be the attention getters, whether through their on-show behavior or their carefully curated bios, and they joke with and chummy up to the show’s judges as if they are peers with Paul Hollywood and Nigella Lawson….  [1]

 

( hint to contestants:  you are not )

I can think of two contestants in two different seasons of TGBBS whom I’ve actually loathed and actively rooted against, due to (what I perceived were) their respective senses of entitlement.  Both were older contestants; one was German, the other British.  Both were talented home bakers, and both seemed to be more experienced than the other contestants – two facts they each seemed to be aware of (read: smug about).  And both made it to the finals, and each lost their respective season’s final, which frosted my cupcake, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

 

Oh honey you know I do.

 

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Department Of Adulting 1101 – The Graduate Seminar

 “There are no bad guys here.
Just sad guys.”

Lather; rinse; repeat.

Why do I feel like someone died?  I ask moiself.  Because some thing did die: a decades-long, cherished friendship has become collateral damage to one of Life’s festering shit shows—in this case, years of terminal illness and its aftermath.

“I have to watch a movie where I’m guaranteed to laugh,” I told MH, two days into my week-long funk after having received the news I was predicting/dreading.  I could’ve put on Airplane!

 

 

…but I wanted something with more…  human, as in humane, laughter situations. The first thing that came to mind was Little Miss Sunshine.  No matter how many times I’ve seen it, the movie’s climatic dance-performance-at-a-kiddie-beauty-pageant  slays me.

 

 

But a microsecond after I had the thought, moiself  cringed for the memory that used to be heartwarming but which now is a wistful reminder of loss.  The friend whose life circumstances triggered her withdrawal took me to see Little Miss Sunshine  after she’d already seen it – specifically, she told me, to watch my reaction to that scene.

There are no bad guys here…

I keep repeating that.   Because it’s true.  [2]

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Department Of Filling Holes That Don’t Exist

Dateline: earlier this week; returning from local errand.  Moiself’s  route took me past a local church, which has one of those message/bulletin boards on the church’s front lawn, facing the street.  You’ve seen them: aside from listing the time of their worship services, some of the boards have (what the church bulletin board posters believe are) are pithy or profound proselytizing-ish sayings, ala:

 

 

This particular church changes the sayings on a regular basis.  The saying of the week I drove past was something along the lines of, “Let Jesus fill the hole in your heart.”  Ones in prior weeks have included messages (sometimes rhyming) about how “…only God can _______ (solve a certain problem).”

Moiself  finds these messages to be the gotcha!  tipoff to how Christian theology operates.  I imagine a conversation with the pastor  [3]    who put up that first sign and who is pitching a Happy Heathen ( such as moiself ) as to why I should be attending his church.    [4]

Pastor:
“Come hear the good news, about how Jesus can fill the hole in your heart!”

Happy Heathen:
“No thanks.  Actually, I don’t have a hole in my heart.”

Pastor:
“Come on in anyway, and we’ll give you one!”

 

 

With the likely exception of some forms of Buddhism,   [5]   most religions’ theologies purport to solve problems that are nonexistent, at least in the real/outside-of-their-religion world.   Theology is the ultimate scam.  It invents a nonexistent problem, then tries to convince you that (a) you have this problem, and that (b) believing/following the tenets of their particular religion is the only solution to this problem.

Imagine the person who punches you in the face, then offers to sell you an ice pack to ease the swelling around your bruised eye.

 

 

Christian theology purports to “solve” problems that are, in fact, its own inventions.  Even more creepily, it must convince you that you are broken, in order to “fix” you.  The very concept of sin comes from the Christian scriptures.  And then there is Sin Deluxe:  witness the “problem” of Original Sin – a doctrine which, BTW, didn’t exist until Augustine coined it in the fourth century (and which no other religion, from Judaism to Hinduism to Buddhism to Islam, extrapolates from the stories in the Hebrew Scriptures).  Ladies and Gentlemen, we’d like to introduce you to the problem of Original Sin, and its resulting estrangement of humanity from god, which can only be fixed via…may I have a drum roll, please?… ta da!, Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give a big round of applause for the Doctrine of the Atonement!

As former minister Dan Barker put it, ” ‘Sin’ is a religious concept, hence ‘salvation’ is merely a religious solution to a religious problem.  Would we respect a doctor who ran around cutting people with a knife in order to sell them a bandage?” 

 

 

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Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [6]

 

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May no one ever convince you to fix what ain’t broke;
May you weather the inevitable waxing and waning of relationships;
May you enjoy TGBBS  no matter how smarmy certain contestants are;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

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[1] This season’s judges.  Paul Hollywood has been a judge from the start; Nigella Lawson replaces Prue Leith, who retired from the show after the previous season.

[2] And then I watched, Morning Glory.

[3] or whichever church member is responsible for choosing and putting up the weekly saying 

[4] actually, I don’t have to imagine it; I’ve had these conversations.

[5] Which tends to be more of a life philosophy than a religion.  Rather than a theology, Buddhism is more of an observational list for natural truths, and provides suggestions for how one might live with, for example, the knowledge of the truth that we human beings are of the nature to get sick, and eventually die.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Total Solar Eclipse I’m Not Seeing

Comments Off on The Total Solar Eclipse I’m Not Seeing

That would be the one next summer – August 2, 2027, to be precise.  This is being  referred to as the “Eclipse of the Century“ because its totality duration will be one of the longest of the 21st century  (6 minutes and 22-23 seconds near Luxor, Egypt).

“Although total solar eclipses occur somewhere on Earth every 18 months on average, they recur at any given place only once every 360 to 410 years.   A total eclipse [is when] the dark silhouette of the Moon completely obscures the bright light of the Sun, allowing the much fainter solar corona to be visible. During an eclipse, totality occurs only along a narrow track on the surface of Earth.  This narrow track is called the path of totality.”
( Solar Eclipse, Wikipedia )

 

 

Since most of the planet is covered with water, every time there is a total solar eclipse there are not that many suitable places for us landlubbers to view the path of totality.  This 2027  EOTC will cross parts of southern Spain, Gibraltar, Egypt, Morocco and other countries of northeastern Africa, and parts of the Middle East.  And since there are a growing number of eclipse chasers,   [1] you have to plan early to secure accommodations in/ transportation to such locales. 

Earlier this year, after we (MH and I) had made plans two years ago to be in the zone of totality for the August 12, 2026 eclipse,   [2]   an astronomer friend of ours – who was responsible for us seeing the total eclipse in 2017 which passed through central Oregon ( moiself  wrote about that in  The Experience I’m Not Describing ) – alerted us to a trip being planned by an eclipse-chasing colleague of his, to see the EOTC.  Astronomer Friend®  asked if our family, in any combination, might be interested?  MH and I, plus our enthusiastic offspring, said yes, and put down the necessary deposits.

 

 

The EOTC trip will be to Morocco.  That country was chosen by the experienced eclipse-trip-planner for being closest to the longest total duration without being in Egypt ( for reasons of political stability ).  Not long after that was decided, I did what I do before considering any travel plans:  moiself  looked up Morocco’s history and current situation re women’s rights.  Like most Moslem-dominated countries, theirs is not a stellar record, but they are progressing, and there’s been genuine modernization in terms of political and civil rights for women.  Translation:  the country wouldn’t require *me* (or any females in Morocco, including female Moroccans) to dress up like a pillar or other forms of infrastructure.

Moiself  was content with that.  Until I wasn’t.

 

When you have to have safety tips, that means it’s not safe.

What is that saying – no; it’s much more than a saying…more like a life guideline:

Standing up for your principles only counts when it is inconvenient to do so.

Many, many years ago, during a time of great strife and discrimination and anti-homosexual hysteria, I asked gay friends, coworkers, neighbors and family members how best to be what we now would call an ally.  The variety of suggestions moiself  received all shared one request in common, which I can summarize thusly:

“Please do not patronize entities of any kind – including countries – that do not support LGBTQ rights and/or which actively discriminate against us.  Your vehemently disagreeing with their policies while willingly giving them your patronage and your $$ is passively supporting their discrimination against us.”

I promised to honor that request, as much as possible.  [3]  One of the people I made that promise to is now dead.  But I’m not.  And I remembered that promise recently, and looked up Morocco’s LGBTQ rights situation.    [4]  My first, kneejerk reaction, moiself  is not proud to say, was totally self-serving and not at all worthy of virtue-signaling:

Shit shit shit shit I can’t go to Morocco.

 

I alerted my family (MH; daughter Belle; son K ) to this – with the caveat that my decision is my decision, and they must decide for themselves.  Belle immediately chose not to go on the trip, as have I.  As of this writing, MH and K are 90% probably also not going.  MH told me that his main reason for wanting to go was to be with the great group of friends who will be going – friends we’ve known since college and who came out to stay with us during the 2017 eclipse.  That was as much a pull – getting to spend more time with those people – as seeing the eclipse, for me, as a reason to do the trip.  But I’ve never been very good at pretending to not know something once moiself  knows it, and I know this now, and it pisses me off, and I can’t support traveling to/spending money in a country where it is illegal for some human beings to be human beings.

 

 

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Department Of I Am Not Going To Blog About *This*….

I was going to blog about the current season of The Great British Baking Show, but then I got some news – the *This* – and lost the impetus to write further.  Next week moiself  will be up to taking on the bakers.  As for the *This*… just wondering, rhetorically.  Have you ever received heart breaking news – news that you were 99% certain was inevitable, yet still felt kicked in the gut to receive it?

 

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Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [5]

 

 

*   *   *

May you someday see a solar eclipse in its totality;
May you not have to compromise your principles to see anything awe-inspiring;
May you gird your loins for those inevitable gut kicks;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Eclipse chasers are people, from professional astronomers to laypersons who don’t even own a telescope, who travel around the world trying to be the path of totality for the next total solar eclipse….just because once you’ve experienced it, the SFA (So Fucking Awesomeness) is something you want to experience again.

[2] The impetus (read: excuse) for our trip in August to Iceland.

[3] It’s not always possible to know, for example, every business’s political donations.

[4] “Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people in Morocco face significant challenges not experienced by non-LGBTQ residents. Both male and female forms of same-sex sexual activity are illegal in Morocco. Gay and lesbian Moroccans face many hardships in the country, as they have limited legal rights. Moroccan police disproportionately target perceived LGBTQ people, and attitudes towards the wider LGBTQ community remain mostly negative throughout the nation….  Article 489 of the Penal Code of Morocco criminalises “lewd or unnatural acts with an individual of the same sex”. Same-sex sexual activity is illegal in Morocco and can be punished with anything from six months to three years’ imprisonment and a fine…. The Moroccan government uses the law as a way to police members of the LGBTQ community. When a person is arrested in Morocco for a suspected homosexual act, their name is publicised, thereby publicly identifying the individual before a trial takes place…..” (  excerpts,  LGBTQ rights in Morocco, Wikipedia )

[5] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Rapists I’m Not (Yet) Advocating Killing

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Department Of Who Said,
The More Things Change The More They Remain The Same

Apparently, it was a French journalist Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr.  And what he said, in French (surprise!) and in 1849, was,

“Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.”


Historians say Karr was expressing his cynicism about the likelihood that the recent French Revolution (1848), or any political disruption or reform, might be able to change human behavior and social structures.

In choosing that department title, moiself  doesn’t mean to imply there’s been no social progress since the mid-nineteenth century.  But the chilling story of the so-called Cornell Seven has a heart breaking, odiferous stench of familiarity to it.  It has given moiself  the ____ – I don’t know the right word; the impetus?  The permission? – to write about my own memorable encounter with the pack animal mentality that can be nurtured and even protected in our misogynous and sexist culture…and in particular, in all-male “bro” environments such as fraternities.

 

 

For those readers living under the proverbial rock, [1]  here’s a (very, very) brief summary of what has come to be called the Cornell Seven story – a criminal incident which was mishandled by the Cornell police and only came to light recently when the victim filed a civil complaint. Do your own research for more of the disturbing details (which include Snapchat messages the rapists sent to other fraternity members inviting them to join in the assault)…but if you do so,  I’d advise having an emesis basin handy:

“The 101-page complaint states that (Jane Doe) ‘was plied with alcohol and drugs to the point of intoxication’ at the fraternity house, and alleges in graphic detail that she was sexually assaulted and raped by members of the fraternity over the course of about seven hours….
 (excerpt, The Washington Post, “What to know about
the Cornell University rape allegations”)

 

 

I’d been saving (?) this story, my own story of facing frat misogyny (don’t worry; I was not assaulted, physically).  There have been times over the decades where it has come back to me, and I knew I’d write about it, eventually.  But the when eluded moiself, until….

 

*   *   *

Department Of Notes I Wrote To Moiself  in 2015

The notes were prompted by news of the SAE-OU racist chant incident:

The University of Oklahoma Sigma Alpha Epsilon racist incident…occurred on March 7, 2015, when members of the University of Oklahoma (OU) chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) were filmed performing a racist song that used the word ‘nigger’ and referenced Jim Crow….

On March 7, 2015, two videos were recorded of SAE members and their dates riding on a chartered bus to the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club, where an event celebrating the national organization’s Founder’s Day was being held. In the video the students are heard singing a chant to the tune of the nursery rhyme “If You’re Happy and You Know It“. Below is how the chant was sung:

‘There will never be a nigger at SAE/There will never be a nigger at SAE
You can hang ’em from a tree/But they’ll never sign with me,
There will never be a nigger at SAE.’ “
(excerpts Wikipeda, 2015 U. of Oklahoma SAE racism incident )

 

SAE’s website’s home page lists SAE’s motto as,
“The true gentleman starts here.”

*   *   *

The notes I wrote to moiself  (in my file of possible blog subjects):

“the thing w/the SAE chant; my experiences w/UCD frat…how much detail go into? So not surprising about the SAE thing – the big ruckus when it’s racism, not sexism. Someday, tell. details/how much to tell…haven’t decided yet. The vile songs/chants – I unfortunately have the original “sheet music.” The names…anonymous or anagram-ized.”

*   *   *

Department Of Background To The Details

Even back in the late 1970s-early 1980s, other fraternities were using the  “But we’re not as bad as SAE” defense  [2]  whenever they got in trouble. And frats were always getting in trouble.  And you do realize that frat is an anagram for fart.

 

 

Once again, I digress.

Dateline: University of California at Davis, late 1970s. The Greek Life was not especially big at my alma mater, with less than 10% of students belonging to fraternities.  Not being the “type” to be interested in that culture, I didn’t have many friends – well, any friends – who were frat members,   [3] and didn’t pay much attention to their goings-on, until The Lupe Incident was all over the local news.

The Aggie, UCD’s student newspaper, broke the story.   [4]  Background:  Fraternities each had their own songbooks, which they distributed to their pledges.  The books consisted of lyrics to songs and chants which the pledges were required to learn and which the frat members would drunkenly howl recite at parties and meetings, from frat-only events to gatherings where one fraternity made fun of/insulted its rival fraternities.  Late in 1975, a Latino frat pledge objected to a certain song in his fraternity’s (Alpha Gamma Rho – AGR) songbook.  The pledge leaked a copy of the song to the campus Chicano/Latino organizations and community members, and “The Lupe Incident” was born.

The lyrics of “Lupe” sing the…uh…praises…   [5]  of a goodtime Latina  ( “…my fun-loving/cock-sucking Mexican whore,” who, among her many  sexual attributes, “tastes better than blueberry pie” ).  The Latino pledge and the wider Chicano community held that the song specifically degraded Mexican women.  [6]   By early 1976 hundreds of Latino students and allies organized and staged protests and presented a list of demands to AGR and to UCD administrators.  AGR officially apologized and…I’m not sure of the other consequences. But the incident left a sour taste in my mouth, one that had little to do with a vulgar, racist and sexist song referencing performing oral sex on a Latina named for a beloved figure in Mexican Catholicism.

 

 

Forward to late 1979.  [7]   One of my apartment mates, Yanny, was a personal friend of mine.  [8]  Yanny was also a friend of my boyfriend, Jay; both were seniors.  Jay had surprised me when, as a junior, he’d joined a fraternity (“SEF”  [9] ), and also when he ran for the vice-presidency of SEF during his senior year.  He’d defended joining his particular fraternity by saying that SEF was the “nerd” fraternity – composed of engineering majors (like him), and that they were good guys….  We’d been around the block with that issue, and I had even gone to a couple of frat parties with him, to be a good sport.   [10]  Jay had parental urging (read: pressure) re how joining a frat would provide him with post-graduate networking opportunities, and besides, he said, he could eat at the frat for free several times a week    [11]….and SEF wasn’t a *real* frat, more of a social club….

Also, by being SEF’s vice president, Jay said that he could have some positive influence should stereotypical frat behavior creep into the SEF ranks.  So.  Jay knew my opinion of fraternities (one step above pit toilets re their contribution to civilization); he’d heard my arguments that research shows frat members have a higher risk for subjecting women to sexual coercion/assault, and that the culture’s structure/social events often treat women as sexual commodities, or at least reinforce outdated models of patriarchal masculinity, and that frats are exclusivist and elitist institutions which still practice segregation and hazing and promote conformity to groupthink and are frequently linked to dangerous consumption of alcohol and “recreational” drugs and promote so-called brotherhood (protection of their membership from consequences of their wrongdoing) over accountability….

 

 

I’d said my piece.  Jay disagreed with some of my points, agreed with others, and joined SEF.  As did Yanny, early in his senior year, when Jay and another friend invited him to do so.   It was funny to me, now and then, that Yanny came to me seeking my opinion – absolution ? – re his decision.  I’m sure he’d already decided to join SEF; nevertheless, I heard his confession, which was almost word-for-word the reasons/excuses offered by Jay (some mumbling the party line about how frats raise money for charity and promote leadership and fellowship and organizational skills; he could eat for free at the frat several times a week; his father said it would be a good networking opportunity….).

 

 

One weekday afternoon, a few weeks after Yanny joined SEF, he and I were home in our apartment, chatting in the living room.  Knowing he’d recently attended a SEF event, I asked Yanny about how his frat life was going. Was it as dull as he’d reassured me?  Probably nothing along the Lupe lines, eh?  Yanny laughed…kinda sorta.  A  there’s-something-I-gotta-tell-you  can be communicated via an uncomfortable laugh, and it was definitely communicated in Yanny’s.  We briefly discussed the Lupe incident, and I brought up the fact that I’d been cynical about the Latino pledgeboy’s righteous indignation about the so-called insult to his heritage:

“What if the girl’s name in the song had been ‘raceless,’ or sans ethnic identity?  If it were ‘Sally‘ being debased in song, would he have protested the song’s demeaning sexual references, or joined in singing it with gusto? ‘Racism, well, okay boys, I guess we can’t get away with that anymore, but degrading women is fine…. ‘ “

Oh, you have no idea; you were right, Yanny said.  I was confused; I asked Yanny what idea I should have, and what was I right about?  Yanny kept repeating that phrase, in several different ways, saying that I was right, that “really bad stuff” still abounds in the frat culture, even in the “better” ones.  He said he’d received SEF’s songbook, and, “Boy, if you saw that…well, you really should see that.  There’s several… one really bad…. No, really; you should see that.”  Why should I see…what?  I asked him.  What would I see?  He repeated several times that I would be shocked by what I’d see in the songbook – which was on top of his desk – but I really should see it…but he has to go to class…but, yeah, I should see that songbook, …and it’s on his desk, and he has to go to class….

 

 

Yanny darted into his bedroom. I heard paper-shuffling sounds; he returned to the living room with his bookbag and announced that he was off to class. All alone in the apartment, I remained on the couch for a minute, bemused by the fact that Yanny had just spent several minutes essentially telling me that I should go to his room and look at the SEF songbook.  So, I did.

Yanny’s bedroom door was wide open. I took the songbook from atop his desk (it was the only object on his desk, angled in a way that practically bellowed, HERE I AM. [12]  I took it with me to the living room, sat down on the couch, and thumbed through it.  The book consisted of pages of mimeographed chants and songs, ranging in content from silly/stupid to vulgar to inuendo-and-scatological reference-filled.  Several of the chants touted SEF’s superiority to other fraternities. The one about Sigma Nu, a rival frat, was particularly, graphically memorable:

Butt fuck, Butt fuck
Gonorrhea goo
Lift up the cow’s tail
Out comes Sigma Nu

Ah yes, lads:  enlighten me once again about how fraternities promote leadership, brotherhood, community service, gentlemanly behavior, and social maturation.

Then there was The Song.  The one I assumed Yanny had wanted me to see.  It had music accompanying the lyrics, which were set to the tune of “When the Caissons Go Rolling Along.”  The song’s title was, “When The End Of The Month Rolls Along.”

Summary:  the song’s many, many verses lament how you – as a guy – aren’t going to “get any” when the end of the month rolls around; that is, when your targeted female sex partner is having her menstrual period:

“You can tell by her waddle there’s a tampon up her twaddle” …
“You can tell by her fanny that you won’t be getting any…”

Feeble rhyme schemes along with vulgar misogyny – what a surprise.

Those are a the milder lyrics; I’ll spare y’all all of the verses and chorus.

As I sat trembling on the couch, I wish I’d spared moiself  from the  “ditty” of sexism, from the girls-are-really-disgusting-and-unclean-but-at-least-some-times-we-can-fuck-them  sentiments, all set to the tune of a patriotic marching anthem.

 

 

I knew I had to do something.

I had Jay’s class schedule written down; he had classes for the entire afternoon. I wanted to “warn” him what I was going to do, but there was no way to do so (this was pre-cellphones/home phone answering machines; there was no way to contact him).  As I biked to campus, the songbook in my backpack, I thought that perhaps it was best that there was no way to tell him, lest he might somehow convince me to ignore what I’d seen.

I made two photocopies of the songbook, and took them to the campus Women’s Resource and Research Center.

 

 

You might think that a counselor (read: righteous feminist advocate) at a campus Women’s Center would have urged me to go public no matter what, but she didn’t.  The concern she showed for *me,* re the possible personal blowback to moiself, was the one good thing to come out of that mess.  I will never forget her kindness, the look of concern on her face, when I’d presented her with the material and asked her assistance in…in doing what, exactly?  What was the right thing to do?  She didn’t seem to think I was a coward for hesitating even for a second to pursue having this festering turd of woman-hating filth brought into the open. This was decades before the MeToo movement, but the reality of what could happen when a woman spoke up about such things… She said that *she* understood the cost of doing so, but, did I? 

After discussing the situation with me and consulting with other Women’s Center staff, she said she would not (immediately) contact the press or the school administration, but would first talk to the SEF president, and get back to me.  The campus phone system had the capability of doing multiple line calls, and the next day she arranged a call between herself, moiself, and the SEF president.

The SEF president – what a piece of work.  I could practically smell his fear over the phone line, and his groveling mendacity made me want to wash my hands after hanging up from the call.  He repeatedly, gushingly assured me that he was not angry with me, that those chants and songs were not a true reflection of the “mission” of dignity and brotherhood promoted by of the Greek system…

(The more he touted the virtues of fraternities, the more I heard…
 Butt fuck, Butt fuck /Gonorrhea goo…)

…and that he was really, truly, sorry for my distress; and that this was a wakeup call, this was actually for the good of the fraternity, a chance for them to live up to their goals of good citizenship and character development and maturation and….

( Butt fuck, Butt fuck /Gonorrhea goo… )

…why, this incident might even, ultimately, make them better people!  He was almost glad they got “caught.”

 

 

Message received, dude.  Like all clandestinely braying racist/gay-bashing/misogynist vampires who wither under the light of exposure, the only thing SEF Prezboy was sorry for was for getting caught.  And he was so creepily smooth about it.  At any moment during the call I half-expected him to inform the counselor and moiself  that we all, in fact, saw eye-to-eye, and could he count on our vote in November?

Nevertheless, the three of us agreed on a course of action.  SEF Prezboy promised he would instruct all frat members to destroy their copies of the songbook, and he personally would sweep the frathouse to make sure every last copy was accounted for.  The counselor agreed to destroy the copy I’d given her, and I agreed to destroy my copy.  [13]

And, with no evidence, he is free to later turn around and deny the content, I thought, even as I was agreeing to destroy my copy.   So of course I lied. I kept my copy.

I lied ( “Yes, believe me, I don’t want to keep such filth around” ) and felt good about it.   I lied to that needledick fraudster, who only said what he said as he felt the knife of exposure at his neck.  Of course I kept the evidence.  I remember thinking, This weasel-butted snakeoil salesman is going to run for office one day, and I need to be prepared to take him down, if necessary.  [14]

 

 

But that was the next day.  That night, after I’d returned from the Women’s Center, I phoned Jay.  I asked him to please come to my apartment – I had something to tell him, but not over the phone. I told Yanny what I’d done, and he didn’t bat the proverbial eyelash.  He said it was probably best if he were not in the apartment when Jay came over, and left to go study in the library.

The frustration, outrage, and ultimately the sadness that I felt on so many levels – culturally, politically, personally – I tried to articulate them to Jay. To his credit, my boyfriend didn’t try to defend…anything.  He was obviously (to me) unhappy that I hadn’t told him what I’d planned to do ( as if I’d planned anything, I said – I’d acted, reacted, on gut-wrenching instinct).  But he said very little.  He listened to me; he wisely chose not to defend the indefensible. At one point he mumbled some mealy-mouthed comment about working from the inside to change things, then dropped that.  And as I was listening to him trying to find a way to sincerely apologize, I realized that we – he and I – had no future.

 

Actually, no Martha, it wasn’t.

 

Department Of The Aftermath

I didn’t break up with Jay, not right then.  Yet I knew that I would, eventually, because I’d realized that I no longer respected him.  Maybe it’s not even respect.  I was disappointed that Jay didn’t seem to see how important it was, the issues behind the When The End Of The Month Rolls Around lyrics – how important it was and *should* be, for all humans, not only women.  I was disappointed that he didn’t feel the same way as I did about such poison, despite him being One Of The Good Guys®, a guy who (thought he) would never knowingly participate in promoting misogyny, hatred, or vitriol of any kind….

In a way, that was unfair of moiself.  Of course, Jay couldn’t feel the same way that I did.  How could he, in the world of upper-class white male privilege from whence he came and in which he lived?  The word *privilege,* when referring to the isms (e.g., racism/ sexism/classism), has been accused of being overused, but that doesn’t make it any less valuable or applicable.  We didn’t have the term then, but, looking back, that’s what it was. Jay’s privilege prevented him from understanding my simmering rage, and also that which was even more important to the future of our relationship: my spirit-enervating disheartenment.

 

 

If there was any harassment or blowback to Jay, he never mentioned it to me (nor did Yanny).  I got the strong impression that SEF Prezboy was determined to keep what had happened on the down low; he wanted to act as if the songbook never existed, and did not want it getting out to anyone, even/especially the other SEF bros, that their veep’s bitch girlfriend had ratted them out.  I remember considering that possibility – of blowback to Jay –  then thinking, Actually, I’m not a bitch, but consequences are….  Jay was their effin’ veep; he had to have known what was in SEF’s “songbook.”

I felt no satisfaction in doing (what to this day I still consider) the right thing.  For a long time afterward, I just felt…numb.  There was no great victory; just disappointment at yet another revelation of organized, institutionalized, male ass-hattery/sexism and woman-hating disguised as boys-will-be-boys hijinks, the reaction to which the frat president probably/privately considering overreacting by two radical militant feminist man-haters.  And the relationship with the boy I loved, whom I broke up with a few months later and whom I still consider to be one of the more decent, well-meaning people I have ever known, was collateral damage.

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [15]

 

 

*   *   *

May you do the right thing, no matter how it feels;
May it eventually feel good when you do the right thing;
even if at first it feels so awful;
May every frat boy someday be required to have the
How To Avoid Sexual Assault guide tattooed on his chest;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] a preferred residence, I can understand, given the news as of late…and a place I tried to hide under when I first heard of the story.

[2] and the “joke” was that SAE stood for, Sexual Assault Expected

[3] What little contact I had with the Greek system was with frats; sororities were new to UCD (not on campus until 1973) and I’m not writing about them here.

[4] But their current website, I was unable to find a reference…don’t know how far back their online archives go, and I wasn’t interested in spending hours searching.

[5] In horny fratboy terms

[6] “Lupe,” a common name for Guadalupe, references the sacred cultural and spiritual figure of Mexico’s Virgen de Guadalupe (Our Lady of Guadalupe). 

[7] I’d graduated that June, traveled the summer after graduation and returned to the apartment I shared with three other students.  I stayed for several months, seeking a job related to my major, before heading to the Bay Area in early 1980.

[8] All names (except Lupe) are nicknames/pseudonyms

[9] “Stupid Engineer Frat” – yes, even (some) organizations get pen names here.

[10] I did attend two parties held at his fraternity; not all that memorable (in fact kinda boring) , certainly not the high raunch other frats were known for

[11] He wouldn’t be living at the fraternity; not all frat houses had living or dorm like capacities, and most of the members of his fraternity did not live at the house.

[12] Which was usually a mess, piled high with papers and notebooks and texts, but which he’d cleared off – that was the paper shuffling I’d heard.

[13] There would be no press contacted re this (although he and the counselor were going to work out something with the administration…I’m not sure if the reported him or his fraternity).

[14] To this day have some of the evidence (copies of the songs/chants) in my files, but I (mercifully) don’t remember the SEF president’s name.

[15] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Beer I’m Not Worshipping

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Department Of The Cannily Observant Runner

Dateline: last Thursday, 12:35 pm,; walking to the Manzanita Post Office to mail a couple of letters.  A jogger runs past me and gasps what sounds like, “Like the purple.”   [1]  I  reflexively thank him, although I’m not really sure what he is referring…. Then I get a load of what moiself  is wearing: a black t shirt under a purple long-sleeved shirt; purple pants, purple jacket, purple shoulder bag; purple hat….  

 

*   *   *

Department Of Perhaps I Should’ve Rephrase That

Dateline #2: Sunday evening ;7 pm-ish; driving back from Rock Creek Tavern, where MH and I had enjoyed our usual date night (for their Sunday Irish Music night)…which turned out to be somewhat less enjoyable than usual because, for the first time either of us can recall, the scheduled musical act did not show up.

MH is driving; moiself  is making a mental inventory of the unused items from our weekly CSA produce share, thinking of how I might use them for the next day’s dinner. I have a few ideas, and ask MH if he has any preferences:

“So, what would you like to see me do with the broccoli tomorrow?
And don’t be rude….”

 

*   *   *

Department Of I Don’t Do This Intentionally…

…but moiself’s  mind just goes there.

Dateline #3:  Monday;10 am; the beginning of yoga class.  The yoga teacher asks us yogis to set an intention   [2]    for the class.  She offers these words for us to silently repeat to ourselves several times during the class, synchronizing it with our inhalations and exhalations:

(Inhale) I am here.
(Exhale) l Here I am

Here is what moiself’s  mind silently repeated instead:

(Inhale) I am Sam.
(Exhale) Sam I am.

*   *   *

Department Of Autumnal References
Sub-Department Of Time for The Clear Fingernail Polish

Harbingers of the Fall:  cooler, crisp morning temps; geese flying south in V-formations; hot apple cider; crunchy maple leaves underfoot; pumpkin-spiced everything; the fingernail on my right pinkie splitting…

Yeah, about the latter omen:

 

 

My sister N, who was three years old, was playing chase with her 18-month-old sister   [3]   (moiself).  When it was moiself’s turn to chase my sister, N fled into the bathroom.  N slammed the bathroom door and locked it, failing to realize, despite my ensuing, bone-chilling shrieks, that I had reached out to N at the last minute, and that my right little finger from the top joint up was crushed between the door and the door jamb.

Our parents convinced N to unlock the door.  They rushed me to the doctor, who examined my pulverized pinkie and pronounced, “It’ll probably need to be amputated.”  He took a second and third look, then mused, “Well, maybe….”

In a Nobel-Prize-worthy moment of medical inspiration, the doctor reached for his miracle salve (Vaseline), dabbed it on the top of my smooshed finger, and wrapped the damaged digit with gauze.  Doc advised my parents to keep the bandaged finger dry – no peeking! – and return in two weeks, or sooner if the finger started to smell like last year’s ham sandwich.  [4]

Two weeks later, at the unveiling, the tip of my finger had partially re-formed itself, and was thus spared its date with the guillotine.

So: I grew up with a funny finger.  While admittedly un-decorative in appearance, it is largely functional.

 

 

Besides my pinky’s misshapen profile, its Fun Finger Facts include the following, most of which are true:

  1. teeny sub-dermal bone fragments are palpable on the underside of the finger.
  1. the fingernail grows cleft from the nail bed to the edge, with the split running bottom to top in the left side of the nail, and curving down at the edge. The fingernail’s growth is self-limiting; it tends to disintegrate (for lack of a better term) at a certain length, and split on the left side.

 

( See that little bit of split fingernail, on the left, jutting upward? 

  1. the tip of the finger, from the second joint up, has reduced sensation (as compared to that of other fingers) and is prone to bouts of numbness.
  1. during one such numbness bout I discovered that Icould stick a pin in the top of that finger, sans pain. Besides giving me that certain, je ne sais quoi cachet among eighth graders, this ability proved to be a helpful form of pest control.  Waving my impaled pinkie was an effective gross-out/shoo-away to a certain cheerleader-type who’d attempted to make me feel self-conscious several times by loudly broadcasting, “Ew, what’s wrong with your finger?!  That is SO DISGUSTING!” in the classroom and at the lunch tables.
  1. There is no fifth Fun Finger Fact.
  1. The tip of the finger is an effective dowser implement, and twitches when in the proximity of an underground water supply.  [5]

The Fun Finger Fact #2 is the subject of the omen of fall.  During the decreasing humidity of autumn, the fingernail gets more dry/brittle and split.  The first time moiself  notices it doing so I start applying several (at least three) coast of clear fingernail polish to the nail a couple of times per week, which helps hold the cracked nail together.

 

 

*   *   *

Department of Employee Of The Month

 

 

It’s that time, to bestow that prestigious award upon moiself.  Again. The need for which I wrote about here.   [6] 

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [7]

Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better Than God

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9.
Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
8.
“In the name of Beer…” has never caused a major war.
7.
Adults don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves
6.  
When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
5. 
Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over his brand of Beer
4. 
You don’t have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. 
There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.
2. 
You can prove you have a Beer.
1. 
If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.   [8]

 

 

*   *   *

May you discoveryour own Dr. Seuss-inspired exercise mantra;
May you have a stranger compliment your color choices;
May you know what you’d like to see done with the broccoli;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Not many other words that rhyme with urple, which was the last word he said.

[2] In yoga practice, to “set an intention” is to choose a focus or attitude for your practice to ground you in the present (instead of, say, like working out at a gym with a future goal in mind – e.g., “I’m gonna lose five pounds/tone those abdominals”).  Variations of “I am here, now,” are commonly used intentions to help your mind focus when you are feeling busy or distracted.

[3] I’ve no memory of this incident – for which I’m grateful – only the finger to remind me

[4] Not his exact phrasing, but you get the idea.

[5] This is such a lie.  Please don’t tell me if you fell for it.

[6] Several years ago, MH received a particularly glowing performance review from his workplace. As happy as I was for him when he shared the news, it left me with a certain melancholy I couldn’t quite peg.  Until I did.

One of the many “things” about being a writer (or any occupation working freelance at/from home) is that although you avoid the petty bureaucratic policies, bungling bosses, mean girls’ and boys’ cliques, office politics, and other irritations inherent in going to a workplace, you also lack the camaraderie and other social perks that come with being surrounded by your fellow homo sapiens.  No one praises me for fixing the paper jam in the copy machine, or thanks me for staying late and helping the new guy with a special project, or otherwise says, Good on you, sister. Once I realized the source of the left-out feelings, I came up with a small way to lighten them.

[7] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

[8]  Moiself’s compilation,  adapted from many, many sources, including the FFRF Freethought Today’s  “The Top Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Jesus”

The Magic Pill I’m Not Taking

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Happy (Belated  [1])  Bisexual Visibility Day Y’all

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Seven Words That Should Give People Hope
But That People Mostly Ignore

 

Your magic pill is how you live.   [2]

 

 

Those seven words are from a Clear + Vivid podcast moiself  heard several weeks back.  The subject was…many subjects.  It’s an episode I can’t find now –  which I findironic in that one of the episode’s topics was discerning regular/age-related forgetting v. dementia-type forgetting.  The podcast’s guest explained why, for example, I can tell you what I had for dinner eight *years* ago on a warm summer evening with my daughter in Paris bistro, but I likely can’t remember what I had for dinner eight weeks (or even days) ago.

There is a science (as in, cognitive strategies) to make meaningful memories at any age.  However, as C+V host Alan Alda and his guess discussed, people would rather have the science behind such discoveries lead to a Magic Pill®  to boost memory (or anything else).  This is because – surprise! –  we evolved to be…well…effing lazy.   [3]

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Mark Your Calendars:

“You keep accusing me of blasphemy all of the time,
but I cannot be convicted of a victimless crime.”

( Dan Barker, former evangelical Christian minister turned atheist activist,
in his 1992 book Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist )

 

 

Wednesday 9-30 is International Blasphemy Day.  Why not write a blasphemous  [4]   haiku to celebrate?   [5]

Here’s a sample of my past contributions.

First things first:  get the silly Old Testament proscriptions out of the way:

Eli, Saul – y ‘all heard?
Life is great; nothing’s unclean!
Shrimp rolls, anyone?

In the spirit of ecumenicism, a gentle dig at those gentle Zen Buddhists:

Get real, Grasshopper
The sound of one hand clapping
Sounds just like one clap

I’ll kill two birds with one stone in this swipe at a tenet of many forms of Hinduism
and Buddhism and – wait, make that three birds! – the New Age/past lives crowd:

Reincarnation?
Right – get a life!  But next time
Come back with some proof

And of course, no Blasphemy Day contest would be complete without a California surfer’s
take on the Christian sacrilege that was heliocentric theory:

Telescope; awesome.
So, like, we spin around them?
Copernicus, dude!

For several years there have been Blasphemy Day t-shirt slogan contests,  inspired in part by a United Nations resolution meant to pacify uber-sensitive Islamists.  But that resolution was the very reason I took a  “why bother/what’s the point?”  attitude toward composing a Blasphemy Day slogan (or even haiku) for Islam.  I mean, considering the possible reactions, who is going to wear a shirt poking fun at something that mandates death to fun-pokers?

 

 

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [6]

 

 

The oft-quoted  [7]  Robert Ingersoll   was one of the most notable orators and speechmakers and civil rights activists of his time (post-Civil War America)…yet few remember him today.  Trained as an attorney, ’twas his oratory tours – speaking on topics as wide-ranging as Reconstruction period to Shakespearean literature to religion to science – that made him famous. He was…”the friend of Presidents, literary giants like Mark Twain, captains of industry like Andrew Carnegie, and leading figures in the arts. He was also beloved of reformers like Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Other Americans considered themselves his enemies, (as he bitterly opposed the Religious Right of his day. He was an early popularizer of Charles Darwin and a tireless advocate of science and reason. More, he argued for the rights of women and African-Americans.  Ingersoll also praised the virtues of family and fireside. And he practiced what he preached. Contemporary sources say Ingersoll enjoyed almost idyllic contentment in family life. Opponents frequently despaired of finding anything to disparage in his personal life.”    [8]

*   *   *

May you value your daily habits more than your magic pills;
May you prize making memories over conserving energy;
May your opponents despair of finding anything to disparage
in your personal life;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Bi-lated?

[2]  Translation:   Nurture once again trumps nature, in that your lifestyle – your daily habits, from what you eat, how much you sleep, how you move through the world) are more impactful on your health and longevity than any magic pill ever will or could.

[3] “We evolved to conserve energy” – sounds more respectable, doesn’t it?

[4] From Mirriam-Webster:  blasphemous, adjective, : impiously irreverent : profane

[5] And if you do, please share it with moiself.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

[7] At least, in my blog

[8]  excerpt, Free Inquiry, Robert Green Ingersoll biography. 

The Perfection I’m Not Ordering

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Department Of I’m Not The First Person To Notice This

Lately it seems as if every interaction with business employees – e.g., someone helping me out at a store, or when I’m ordering at a restaurant – the employee comments on my order and/or choice, in superlative terms.  Excellent and perfect seem to be the semantic pinnacles du jour.

Client: “I’d like the sides a little shorter than usual.”
Hair Stylist: “Awesome!”

Customer: “I’ll have the soup of the day, no croutons, please.”
Waiter:  “Excellent!”

Customer:  “Would you please add a gingersnap cookie to my order?”
Deli clerk:  “Perfect!”

It doesn’t frost my butt the way some other verbal tics do, although moiself  has the usual complaints re how overusing and/or misapplying words dilutes their significance.  But since there isn’t much in my life right now wherein, say, a committee is going to award me certificates for excellence in anything, I’ll gladly sit with the knowledge that the barista apparently considered my pomegranate tea choice to be impeccable.

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Almost Bought The Book….

A just-released cookbook, that is.  Then I read the book author’s introduction ( I’m so glad online booksellers have this option ):

“Let’s get one thing out of the way.  I’m not a vegetarian.
No, no!  Don’t go anywhere.  If you’re looking for labels, I can give you a few.  I’m Tanya, an editor for Cooking and Foods at the The New York Times.  I’m a Leo (Aries rising, Libra moon)….”

 

 

Hi Tanya, I’m Robyn, a reader of your The Veggie newsletter.  As per your mythological bullshit astrology identity, I’m a Stradivarius whose gorge rises    [1]  at the mere hint that asentient being with an IQ larger than her bra size would give enough to credence to astrology so as to state her zodiac sign as an identifying characteristic.  And my moon is…well, that’s me at the monitor, figuratively mooning your amiable idiocy.

While I was cautiously (as in, with reservations   [2] ),  looking forward to your book it’s highly unlikely I’m going to spend $ on it now.  Instead, let me recommend a good read to you:  Carl Sagan‘s  The Demon Haunted World:  Science as a Candle in the Dark.   [3]  The entire book is a must-read, but if you’re pressed for time (or just lazy), check the index and read the pages dealing with astrology.  Here’s a sneak preview:

“Astronomy is a science—the study of the universe as it is.
Astrology is a pseudoscience—a claim, in the absence of good evidence, that the other planets affect our everyday lives.”
( This quote is from Sagan’s book,  Cosmos.
Those that follow are from The Demon-Haunted World )

“[Horoscopes] are consciously designed to be so vague
that they could apply to anybody …”

“Astrologers cannot even agree among themselves what a given horoscope means.”  [4]

“Astrology can be tested by the lives of twins. There are many real cases like this: one twin is killed in childhood in, say, a riding accident or struck by lightning, while the other one lives to a prosperous old age. Supposed that had happened to me. My twin and I would have been born in exactly the same place and within minutes of each other, exactly the same planets would be rising at our births. If astrology were valid, how would we have such profoundly different fates?…”

“How could the rising of Mars at the moment of my birth affect me, then or now? I was born in a closed room. Light from Mars couldn’t get in. The only influence of Mars which could affect me was its gravity. But the gravitational pull of the obstetrician was much larger than the gravitational influence of Mars. Mars is a lot more massive, but the obstetrician was much closer.” 

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Editing Mishaps That Make Me Feel Better
Sub-Department Of I’ve Never Tried That Recipe Before….

This oopsie is from our CSA’s weekly newsletter,   [5]   in which the farmers let us know what veggies will be in our weekly portion and share other farm-related news:

The tomatoes made a comeback only to be sprinkled with rain and dew again….
We roasted a good chunk of the peppers which can now be frozen and fucked away for stews and sauces during the winter.

Um…well…ok.  Always looking for a way to liven up those stews and sauces.

 

“Don’t even think about it, lady.”

*   *   *

Dateline:  last Wednesday, circa 1:30p.  I did some grocery shopping on my way to pick up our produce share (from the afore-mentioned CSA), and treated moiself  to a copy of Cook’s Illustrated magazine. I do this every once in a while, even though over half of the recipes in the magazine are of little use to me since I don’t eat meat or dairy.  It’s the cover illustrations that get me.  The magazine’s current (number 202; Sept/Oct) cover makes okra, both whole and sliced, look like exotic flora from another galaxy.

 

 

One of my favorite sections in the magazine is Quick Tips, wherein readers send in their innovative and easy ways to perform cooking-related tasks.   [6]   Examples from the current issue include a home cook who repurposes used plastic gift cards as nonstick dish cleaners (“Gift Card Turned Pan Scrubber”); another who found that a clean fine-mesh laundry bag can be used for squeezing water from thawed frozen veggies (“A Tip for Squeezing Excess Water From Spinach); another who uses a vegetable peel to shave a piece of a celery stock to serve as a tie for a bouquet garni  (“An Edible Substitute for Kitchen Twine”)….

Before heading to the farm I got a lunch at a local café, where I opened the magazine and turned to the Quick Tips section.  I tried to explain to the servers why I was chuckling to moiself, after reading a QT with the caption, Keep Burritos Warm.

Keep Burritos Warm.

I guess that’s an issue for some folks, but, really…keep burritos warm.? This may be the first time in my life I have encountered that phrase.  Here’s the QT in its entirety:

“Keep Burritos Warm
When ____ (reader name) wants to take a burrito on the go, she keeps it warm and intact by sliding it into her thermal travel mug.  The burrito fits neatly inside for easy carrying, and the insulated walls keep it warm until she is ready to eat.”

Indeed, it is a handy tip, if keeping burritos warm is a concern of yours,  But for some reason it struck me as…silly, and profoundly funny.  Later that day, when I tried to explain to MH what I found so amusing about that particular QT, it took me several minutes before I could speak without giggling. Finally, I was able to choke out that “…it reminds of Three Word Slogan! Three Word Slogan! What you put on a protest sign and/or chant at a political rally.”

No More Kings!
Yes We Can!
No Nukes Now!
Stop the War!
Keep Burritos Warm!

A mere three words brought me to my knees (translation: brought my forehead to the table).  And now, how many paragraphs did I just write about a three word caption?

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Be Careful What You Ask, Even Rhetorically

Writer and commentator Molly Jong-Fast recently published a New York Times Opinion essay ( “I’m Not Going to Lie About My Neck” ) wherein she revealed and defended her decision to undergo plastic surgery shortly after she turned 47.

According to Jong-Fast, her physical appearance is directly tied to her livelihood, and she felt pressured by our youth-obsessed culture   [7]  to either conform to beauty standards to prolong her career or step back from “the arena” and face her inevitable marginalization. In her essay she rhetorically asked if opting for cosmetic surgery is “cheating” and if it makes her a “bad feminist” by reinforcing patriarchal beauty norms.  Then she  chickens out advocates for a revised definition of feminism that does not heap “hostility” on those who have plastic surgery and which “respects individual autonomy and survival choices under a male-gaze-oriented culture.”

 

 

It was one of the odder versions of “you go girl/whatever makes you feel good about yourself, “ written by a herself *for* herself, that I’ve ever run across.  A good portion of the comments to Jong-Fast re the article (sampled below) revealed that many if not most of the article’s readers had similar feelings as moiself:

“Does it make you a bad feminist? Of course it does! We succumb to our own insecurities first, and then the ever-present male gaze, and even fiercer female gaze. As long as we keep succumbing to the cultural expectation of youth, there will be no way out….”

“Curious if you feel similarly about operations/treatments that aren’t as normalized, such as skin bleaching? Colorism is still alive and well in this country, but I very much doubt anyone would attempt to defend such a treatment…”

“It’s not that women who have plastic surgery are cheating. I don’t care what other women do to try to change themselves (though I do feel bad for women who believe that they aren’t good enough as is). The problem is that the more people who do ‘cheat’, the greater the price is for those of us who don’t. The more conformity there is to impossible ideals, the greater the momentum is toward impossible ideals. That harms us all.”

 

 

“As the mother of two daughters…I do not want to send them the message that it’s not ok to age because it’s happening to all of us…when I’m 70, I’m not going to fool anyone into thinking I’m 40 – no matter what I do….
I can’t agree with you that your choice was to conform to the standards of beauty or reject them and lose your career. There are examples of women in the public eye who aren’t doing this… At 63, I am still on Zoom calls most days and no, I don’t like the way my neck looks or the wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. But I’m never going to be 43, 33 or 23 again. Instead of trying to be, why not be an example for my daughters so they know aging is natural and ok?”

“Does that make you a bad person or a bad feminist?  No.  But it is a sad commentary on our culture that women feel that need at all.  I hope by the time your daughter reaches your age she feels more confident in the world.”

“It is not ‘hostility.’ That is reframing to tell a narrative. You are buying in, and it is depressing.  It is your choice to give your power away to ‘men’ and ‘society’s’ obsession with youth. For what, smoke and mirrors and a media ecosystem that promotes what exactly? Anything positive? Or just more of the same darkness?

*Molly, it doesn’t make you a bad feminist, it makes you a selective one.  (and I, Robyn, would add here, and it makes you a cowardly one ).
Succumbing to the misogyny but cloaking it in professional demands is a cop out.
You say that one’s level of perceived attractiveness or unattractiveness drives inequality in the workplace and society, but don’t note that plastic surgery worth tens of thousands of dollars is completely out of reach for the majority of women, driving further inequality.

 

 

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [8]

“If our lives are controlled by a set of traffic signals in the sky,
why try to change anything?”
( American scientist, professor, author, science educator Carl Sagan )

 

*   *   *

May you read The Demon Haunted World if you haven’t already;
May you find a better use for your peppers than f***ing them away;
May you remember that you no longer have any excuse *not* to
Keep Burritos Warm®;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Reference for you young’uns unfamiliar with the idiom: One is disgusted or sickened by something. (The “gorge” is the stomach: “I could never be a doctor. Blood, vomit, open wounds—the gorge rises at it.”  Definition from The Free dictionary ).

[2] Wondering how many of the recipes I’d actually be interested in, as her newsletter contains many with egg and dairy ingredients (vegetarian, but not entirely plant-based)

[3] Actually, there is nothing about this book that would make me recommend it solely to Tonya; I think *every* person should read it, as a good guide to evaluating evidence, learning skeptical and critical thinking, and thus developing your own “baloney detection kit”.

[4] The book describes examples of scientists testing astrology by, for example, having contradicting horoscopes given to astrology believers and printed in newspapers and testing the believer’s reactions….it’s worth the read just for these entertaining examples of human gullibility.

[5] What is a CSA and why should you sign up for one?

[6] They receive a complimentary one-year subscription to the magazine for each tip CI decides to publish.

[7] : Jong-Fast is a political commentator who appears frequently on television and digital video screens.

[8] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Future Vice President’s Campaign I’m Not Consulting On

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It’s time for a…

 

 

Moiself  sincerely hopes that y’all will have a modicum of amusement with these blog reruns from Fridays of August past, while I, along with MH and our offspring K and Belle, are enjoying a once-in-a-lifetime bit of family fun.

 

 

*   *   *

The Future Vice President’s Campaign I’m Not Consulting On
( 8-21-20 )

Department Of Yet Another Silver Lining

The Democratic convention’s pandemic-mindful/physical distancing states’ roll call (in its entirety, here ) – how delightful was that?   The usual political party convention roll call, with the delegates dressed basically the same (we can wear three colors – can you guess what they are?) and wearing those ridiculous straw boater hats, some of which look to be made of styrofoam….it’s beyond boring.

 

Well hellooooo, ladies.

 

Moiself sez let’s do it this way from now on, pandemic or not. We got a brief glimpse into the states’ – and US territories’ – terrain as well as character,  [1]  with a few surprises, too.  Rhode Island calamari – that’s even a thing? Who knew?

*   *   *

Department Of Which Is The More Accurate Adjective?

What the radio podcast host said:
” (name)…is a board-licensed professional counselor.”

What moiself heard;
“(name) …is a bored, licensed professional counselor.”

 

*   *   *

Department Of If Given My Druthers, I’d Like To
Leave The Civics Lesson To Someone Else

What, BTW, are druthers?  In the various idiomatic expressions which use the word, it does seem to be a positive thing. Do I have to wait to be given them, by someone else, or can I get or earn them on my own?   [2]

If it were in my power, I would give all of you your druthers. Wouldn’t it be great if druthers turned out to be something like this:

 

 

Once again, I digress.

Moiself  is thrilled with Joe Biden’s choice of a running mate.  During the Democratic debates, a California friend (MM) and I were exchanging ideas/compliments about the various candidates. In MM’s opinion Sen. Harris, besides being experienced and intelligent and a razor-sharp questioner during Senate hearings, was also not the kind to put up with crap or betrayal – “She’ll put a shiv in you,” MM wrote admiringly.  We both agreed that was a talent sorely needed when dealing with the petty viciousness and mendacity of the Republican congress.  [3]

One of the many, many other things I like about Senator and Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris is that I don’t know a thing about her religious/spiritual and/or worldview beliefs.  And I’d like to keep it that way.

Except of course, the Republicans will not stand for that. Even the (secretly) religion-free among them must grovel to the altar of right-wing Jayyy-suuuus  lovers.   #45 figured this out when he was laughing all the way to the bank (or golf course), passing church after church along the way, metaphorically thumbing his nose at them even as he was snickering about how easy it was to bamboozle the congregants.

 

The Republicans will look for every opportunity, during the election and debates,  [4]  to play their piety cards and jab Biden and Harris about their beliefs.  Biden has already fallen into that trap –of talking about his own faith rather than telling those who ask that it’s none of their business as the USA is not a theocracy, and let’s get back to the issues….

Thus, I humbly offer my advice to Ms. Harris – the advice she didn’t solicit from me  [5]  but which I hope she takes:

Don’t fall for Pence’s religious rhetoric claptrap, and make him sorry if he even asks. I know you’re capable of going all prosecutorial on his ass…even though that tactic, if you employed it, would make your advisors reach for the smelling salts as the white evangelicals would clutch their pearls and gasp in horror at The Angry Black Bitch Atheist (whether you are or are not the fourth, you’d definitely be pegged as the first three).  So, yes, I understand how you must go for discretion.

I also hope you don’t mumble platitudes about respecting everyone’s faith journey (although I understand there will be pressure to do so). When – not *if,* as religion will definitely be an issue – the subject of a paticular candidate’s religious beliefs are brought up, don’t ignore it.  Instead, candidly and assertively steer away from the subject, every time it happens, and every time reminding us of why you are doing so:

We are electing presidents and vice presidents here,
not popes and pastors and vicars and decans – or rabbis, imams or mullahs, Zen masters or Lamas, pujaris or gurus….

 

I know, this is important…I’ll ty to stay alert.

 

American citizens hold a diversity of religious opinions. The candidates elected will be the President and Vice President for all the people, including the growing percentage of atheists, agnostics, humanists, Freethinkers Brights – aka, to pollsters and scientists, as the “Nones,” as in, we Americans who are religion-free and/or claim no religious affiliation.

Polls and studies reveal that 23 to 26 % of the US population – approaching one out of every four people – claim “none” for their religion, despite facing open hostility and discrimination from religious believers (and incurring a political liability as well, if they run for office).  And scientists note that these 23-26% figures are conservative estimates.

 “…psychologists…contend that there may be far more atheists than pollsters report because “social pressures favoring religiosity, coupled with stigma against religious disbelief…, might cause people who privately disbelieve in (god[s])  to nonetheless self-present as believers, even in anonymous questionnaires.
To work around this problem of self-reported data, the psychologists employed what is called an unmatched count technique, which has been previously validated for estimating the size of other underreported cohorts…. (Using a) Bayesian probability estimation to compare their results with similar Gallup and Pew polls of 2,000 American adults each…they estimated, with 93 percent certainty, that somewhere between 17 and 35 percent of Americans are atheists, with a “most credible indirect estimate” of 26 percent.
(“The number of Americans with no religious affiliation is rising,”
Scientific American, 4-1-18 )

As a former prosecutor you, Senator Harris, are aware of the average person’s cognitive capacities, so I’ll trust you to condense those statistics into something debate-attention-span appropriate.

After doing so, please give a brief reminder – more like a civics lesson, considering how many Americans know next to nothing about the history of our country’s secular roots – that the USA was the first country to have a totally god-free constitution.  “God” – anyone’s god  – is not mentioned in the US Constitution (nor is Jesus, nor Christianity), not even once.  Religion is only mentioned twice, and then in exclusionary terms: in the First Amendment (“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”), and in Article VI, which declares that “…no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

And do this – remind folks of the facts – Every. Time.

 

 

There will be some ignoramuses (most likely your debate opponent), even among otherwise seemingly articulate members of the press, who will confuse the Declaration of Independence with the Constitution, and will quote the former:

“But wait, what about the part where it says,
‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights’….”

Here is, yet again, another opportunity for education. Remind the populace of the difference between the two: The Declaration of Independence (an ‘apology’ and call to arms for the American revolution);  and the Constitution of the United States (the new nation’s governing document).

You may also want to be prepared for when some idiot sputters about how his dollar bills say, “In God We Trust”…which he probably doesn’t know was not added to our currency until 1957, during the Commie/Red Scare era, and then he may continue on as how the Pledge of Allegiance contains the phrase, “Under God”…except that until relatively recently, it didn’t:

 The Pledge of Allegiance was written in August 1892 by the socialist minister Francis Bellamy… (who) had hoped that the pledge would be used by citizens in any country.  In its original form it read:
“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands,
one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
In 1923, the words, “the Flag of the United States of America” were added:
“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
In 1954, in response to the Communist threat of the times, President Eisenhower encouraged Congress to add the words “under God,” creating the 31-word pledge we say today.
Bellamy’s daughter objected to this alteration.
(“The Pledge of Allegiance,” Historic Documents, usdocuments.org)

You will likely also encounter shade from the historical yahoos who will crow about how the USA was formed as a “Christian nation.” Not only does Constitution make no such claims, we have the confirmation to the opposite, declared and signed by the very founding fathers of our country and the framers of the constitution, in the 1797 Treaty of Tripoly – which was sent to the Senate (by President John Adams).  The entire treaty was read aloud on the Senate floor (including the (in)famous words in Article 11; copies were printed for every Senator; the treaty was ratified by a unanimous vote of all 23 Senators. They knew what they were doing:

Treaty of Tripoli, article 11
“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”   [6]

All this history should be enough.  Of course, it won’t be.

So, please, get the message across…in your own astute, succinct way.  Perhaps, a more prime time-palatable version of the following?

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Fun With Nature’s Wacky Reproductive Scenarios

“Some sharks give live birth from two uteruses — and that’s not the weirdest part.”

Dateline: earlier this week, listening to a Curiosity Daily podcast. CD is one of my favorite podcasts.  As per their website:

The award-winning Curiosity Daily podcast will help you get smarter about the world around you — every day.
In less than 10 minutes, you’ll get a unique mix of research-based life hacks, the latest science and technology news, and more.

I’m not sure how much smarter CD has helped moiself  to get, but I’m certainly entertained, and armed with interesting trivia facts, by each episode.

A recent segment on sharks which have dual uteri caught my eye (ear?).  The takeaway: many shark species have multiple uteri and give birth to live baby sharks, which hatch from eggs in the uteri.  Before being expelled, the baby sharks which hatch first swim between the uteri, and eat the eggs of their un-hatched siblings, so they can grow faster. In one species, multiple free-swimming baby sharks hatch at the same time and fight to the death inside their shark mom’s uterus.

 

“Congrats, Mom, it’s a boy…I mean, a girl…uh, make that, a cannibal.”


For some petty reason, I enjoy the idea of anti-choicers – most of whom hold a conservative religious dogma which says that their god creates and directs all life (so guess who’s responsible for this preborn carnage?) –  cringing at these facts…even though sibling predation – “siblicide” –  is not unknown in other animals (e.g. the newly hatched chicks of some bird species will attack and eat their smaller siblings, or push them or any unhatched eggs out of the nest).

As with every CD episode, at the end of this one the two hosts recapped what they’d learned.  The male host, whose wife is pregnant, said that he’s been feeling his wife’s belly when the fetus kicks her, and now he’s thinking how “…that is really mild, compared to what sharks do.”  He then declared, “I’m glad I didn’t marry a shark.”

 

“Oh, honey, can you feel them fighting to the death?”

*   *   *

Pun For The Day

Presidential candidate Scissors was forced to withdraw from the race
after failing to find anyone who would run with him.

 

“Do you see what humor they have to put up with, in a so-called ‘free’ society?”

 

*   *   *

May you support politicians in remembering and upholding our country’s secular foundation/roots;
May you have yet another reason to detest that insipid “Baby Sharks” song;
May someone surprise you with the gift of druthers;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

 

*   *   *

[1] But California should have had a surfer boy standing between those two women.

[2] I could Google this, I know, but sometimes, it’s just more fun to wonder.

[3] Then added that, as much as he admired President Obama, “that was a talent Obama lacked.”  (moiself  ageed).

[4] Are we even going to have debates, this year?

[5] Or, maybe she *did* and her email got caught in the spam folder.

[6] At the time of the Treat, Mediterranean Sea traffic was largely controlled by pirates from the North African Muslim states of the Barbary Coast.  Many European seafaring countries paid a tribute to the Barbary Sultans in exchange for safe passage through the Mediterranean. After the American Revolution, the US was no longer covered by British tribute treaties. The U.S. decided to form tribute treaties with the Barbary States, and given the history of The Crusades, assure the sultans that the US was not going to use the excuse of Christianity vs. Islam to go to war with them.

The Ephemera I’m Not Minimizing

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Department Of Be Aware Of Mono No Aware

“There’s a wonderful Japanese term, for which there isn’t a precise English translation.  The term is Mono No Aware  ( mo no no a- war -ey ) loosely means, a sensitivity to ephemera; the bittersweet feeling of seeing things change.  Mono no aware is a wistful awareness of the transitory nature of existence.  Since everything we see all around us will one day be gone, we must appreciate every millisecond.  According to this idea, cherry blossoms are not only beautiful despite only blossoming for two weeks once a year, they are beautiful *because* they only blossom for two weeks once a year.

When you notice yourself fearing or resisting change, perhaps you can remember the concept of mono no aware, and find harmony with the impermanent nature of all things.   As Jack Kornfield   [1] said, ‘Like a sandcastle, all is temporary.  Build it; tend it; enjoy it. And when the time comes, let it go.’ ”
( from Daily Calm morning meditation, 7-22-26 )

 

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Department Of Apropos Of Nothing…

…or at least the nothing that now seems so important, or at least, memorable.  Recently, both a book I was reading and a podcast I was listening to, on the subject of the history of the radical undergrounds  [2]   in the 1970s-1980s, mentioned an incident in Chicago where the boxer Muhammed Ali ( “the most recognizable man in the world” ) joined in on an action to disrupt the eviction of a poor Black family living in a Chicago tenement.   I didn’t know about that incident; while I admired his acting on behalf of that family, hearing about it got me to thinking of the impressions I carried of Ali, and still do, to this day.

My parents were not very interested in boxing.  Moiself  actively opposed and was confused by its very existence:  why were select men given money and medals for doing something that, if they did it in the streets instead of in a sporting arena, they’d be arrested ?  [3]   I refused to watch any boxing matches as a matter of principle, but when it came to the Ali-Frazier competitions I –  like the entire country, it seemed – was well aware of the pre-matches hype and the post-matches analysis.

 

When it came to that classic rivalry –  the three Frazier-Ali matches known as The Fight of The Century (1971) and the rematches Super Fight II  (1974) and the Thrilla in Manila –  my parents, like most Whites of that era (so it was assumed), supported Joe Frazier.  Joe Frazier was shy, respectful, softspoken, and humble;  those traits of his were ridiculed by Ali and his supporters as being more palatable to White people whom, they sneered, saw Frazier as a Good Negro®.

I admired Ali for how he stood up for himself and was willing to go to jail for his principles.  I’d never heard of a Black man talking back to White people like Ali did.  It wasn’t so much that Ali talked back, it was that he unapologetically stood up for himself.  I loved that.  And I hate hate hated the way Ali talked about, and to, Joe Frazier.

Joe Frazier supported Ali ( both publicly and financially ) after Ali refused induction into the US Army and was subsequently stripped of his title, banned from boxing, and threatened with jail.  Frazier even lobbied the boxing powers that were ( and President Nixon! ) for Ali’s being able to return to the sport. Here is what Frazier got in return:  Ali boasted about how “pretty” he himself was, and contrasted his own handsome visage  [4]  with the features of Frazier,  called Frazier “ignorant” and “dumb” and “ugly,” and actually compared Frazier to a gorilla.

 

 

Those astoundingly racist epithets would’ve been called out as being just that if they had been uttered by a White person instead of being brashly spewed by the self-proclaimed   [5]   “Greatest.”  You could try to excuse Ali’s taunting by saying it was part of the boxing culture’s pre-match hype; but Frazier didn’t, and never forgave Ali for the taunting and bullying he (and his family) endured from Ali supporters.

 

 

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Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [6]

Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) was the celebrated agnostic orator of the 19th century, sparking what became known as The Golden Age Of Freethought.  A Civil War officer, abolitionist, civil rights and women’s rights advocate, author, and skilled orater, Ingersoll’s lectures attracted thousands, and he was the person most responsible for the flowering of Freethought in the USA.

 

 

Although I knew *of* Ingersoll I did not encounter Ingersoll’s vow until after my own coming out as religion-free.  Moiself  got goosebumps, the first time I read this essay of his, to think of how the experiences of a someone of over 100 years ago so paralleled those of my own.  It’s as if he was emptying my thoughts onto his pages.

The *news,* was not what Ingersoll realized he was convinced of ( e.g., the natural, not supernatural, origins of our world; the fact that religions are mythologies ) but rather of his ability – his*need,* his obligation, even –  to express this openly.

 

 

Ingersoll’s Vow ( emphases mine  [7] )

When I became convinced that the Universe is natural – that all the ghosts and gods are myths –  there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was flooded with light, and all the bolts, and bars, and manacles became dust.
I was no longer a servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world, not even in infinite space. I was free –

* free to think, to express my thoughts;
* free to live to my own ideal;
* free to live for myself and those I loved;
* free to use all my faculties, all my senses;
* free to spread imagination’s wings;
* free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope;
* free to judge and determine for myself;
* free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the “inspired” books
that savages have produced,
and all the barbarous legends of the past;
* free from popes and priests;
* free from all the “called” and ‘set apart;’
* free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies;
* free from the fear of eternal pain;
* free from the winged monsters of the night;
* free from devils, ghosts, and gods;
for the first time, I was free.

There were no prohibited places in all the realms of thought – no air, no space, where fancy could not spread her painted wings – no chains for my limbs – no lashes for my back – no fires for my flesh – no master’s frown or threat – no following another’s steps – no need to bow, or cringe, or crawl, or utter lying words. I was free. I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously, faced all worlds.

And then my heart was filled with gratitude, with thankfulness, and went out in love to all the heroes, the thinkers who gave their lives for the liberty of hand and brain – for the freedom of labor and thought – to those who fell in the fierce fields of war, to those who died in dungeons bound with chains – to those who proudly mounted scaffold’s stairs – to those whose bones were crushed, whose flesh was scarred and torn – to those by fire consumed – to all the wise, the good, the brave of every land, whose thoughts and deeds have given freedom to the sons of men. And then I vowed to grasp the torch that they had held, and hold it high, that light might conquer darkness still.”

 

*   *   *

May you remember, or soon discover, the first time you realized that you are free;
May you know the wistful joy of appreciating ephemera;
May you feel free to spread imagination’s wings;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Jack Kornfield  is a Jewish-American writer and teacher of the Vipassana style of Theravada Buddhism.  He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, Burma and India, and has been teaching mindfulness meditation since 1974.

[2] The Weather Underground, The Black Panthers and the Black Liberation Army. 

[3] I still don’t get it.

[4] Which, as more than one White and Black pundit pointed out, was the result of having some European ancestry in his lineage – specifically, an Irish ancestor from County Clare.

[5] “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.” “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”  Muhammed Ali In His Own Words.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

[7] As well as some punctuation

The Energy Crisis I’m (Still) Not Solving

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Department Of Things That Hold Up Overtime

MH and I have been re-watching the TV series ER.   Aside from some older technology artifacts – the hospital records and procedures are not fully computer-integrated (e.g.,  the staff keeps index card files on certain patients! ) – the issues, both medical and personal, remain, IMO, compelling and contemporary. Except for wanting an old-fashioned schoolmarm’s stick to whack George Clooney’s character on the back (  “Stand up straight!  Look people in the eye!  You’re a doctor, FFS!” ), the performances are spot-on.  Although (for moiself  at least) Clooney’s hangdog/horndog, mannered performance as Dr. Doug Ross takes some getting used to, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how… fresh… everything seems.  It’s fun to rewatch a great episode I haven’t thought of in years, and turn to MH and say, “Oh, wait, I think I remember this…no I don’t/no, wait – something weird is gonna happen here….”

 

Someone who’s on the cusp of being a ginormous movie star and making an obscene amount of money should have better posture.

 

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Department Of Why Isn’t This A Thing Yet?

Percussive energy is the thing that isn’t, yet.  And it should be.  After all, moiself  blogged about it four years ago ( The Clean Energy Source I’m Not Yet Inventing ). And yet the eyes and ears of the scientific community remain blind and deaf to my far-fetched ranting well-thought proposals?

I wrote about percussive energy as the counterpart, or rather compliment, to solar and wind energy. Short recap:  utilizing all that  tap, tap tap  [1]  of raindrops – as in, designing a surface, which could capture that energy find a way to use or store it (an answer to the old school people who decry “clean” energy by saying,  “Yeah well solar only works when it’s sunny/wind power only works when it’s windy….” ).

The world is still waiting for, still needing, youth science fairs and contests to challenge and/or incentivize their entrants to…basically…save us from ourselves.   Or at least help us out with our existing problems, rather than translate their budding scientific and entrepreneurial skills into designing yet another mind-numbing gaming/entertainment app.

 

Lilly Downs, eighth grader from Osteen, Florida, wins Lemelson Early Inventor Prize winner at her 2025 science fair.   [2]

 

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Department Of Gems Discovered While Seeking Something Else

That would be a blog segment from five years ago, specifically 8-20-21 ( The Butt I’m Not Kicking ) where in moiself  wrote about MH’s colonoscopy:

Department Of Post-Procedural Updates

Background info: MH has never been able to roll his rs, which is the main reason, he told me many years ago, that he took German as a foreign language in high school.  He’d thought Spanish would be more useful/practical, but he simply could not roll his rs as is required for the correct pronunciation of many Spanish words, and he was somewhat intimidated/embarrassed by his lack of being able to perform that particular linguistic feat.  And it’s true: over the years, I’ve tried to get him to do it (or trick him into it), and he simple cannot roll his rs.

Dateline: Thursday, 10:50 am. MH is back home after his colonoscopy.  He thinks he’s fine, but it’s obvious to moiself  that the effects of the Versed (the sedative used during the procedure) are still reigning.    [3]    He’s… goofy

He stands at the kitchen counter, looking at the color printout he was given at the hospital, which includes a map of the lower intestines. He begins reading off the “map sites” to me:

MH (in a voice much higher than his usual range):
“The ilium!
The cecum!
The rrrrrrrrrrrectum…”

Moiself:
What?!?!?!  Holy crap; did you hear yourself?!  You rolled your rs!

MH (in miffed toddler mode):
“No I didn’t.”

Moiself:
“Oh yes you did!”

MH proceeds to say “rectum” over and over, drawing out the r sound without rolling it.  But for one glorious, Versed-induced moment, them rs were rolling like a river.

 

 

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Department Of Not Completely Different
But Similar, As In, Involving A Memory

 

MH and I met in a Lutheran Church.  Yep; yours truly the flaming atheist, Humanist, Freethinker, Skeptic, religion-free apostate/heretic was raised by Lutheran parents and was herself, like her now equally religion-free (  but less flaming  [4]   ) spouse was once an active church member.  But that’s a story for another day (preferably, a day involving cosumption of gin and tonics by both the storetellers and story listeners ).

A momentary digression for Educational Purposes®:  moiself  has been referred to, by other active and former Christians, as both a heretic and an apostate.  Neither word is one I consider pejorative; both are arguable as to their applicability as labels for my beliefs and experiences.  [5].  In general, both labels refer to someone’s rejection of the religion they are/were “in” and/or were raised in.  The difference is in the degree of rejection.  Apostates totally reject or renounce their religion; heretics stay (or attempt to stay) within their religion and/or religious community but openly hold and assert beliefs that contradict their religions’ theologies and doctrines. [6]   (interesting factoid: at some point in time, every new religion/demonization has been accused of heresy/apostasy by their onetime co-religionists).

 

 

Moiself  recently overheard a tidbit of a conversation in which one person was relaying to another their experience of being challenged as to their worthiness of ascending to a certain position in their work. This reminded me of a story shared with moiself  by one of the pastors at Grace Lutheran Church in Palo Alto, the church where MH and I met.

Grace Lutheran was a congregation in the ELCA synod, the most liberal synod or wing of the American Lutheran churches.  At that time (when MH and I were attending) Grace Lutheran had two co-pastors, one male and one female.  I became friendly with both of them, in particular the female pastor, SK.  This was in 1986, and although the ELCA had been ordaining women pastors since 1970, their acceptance was a slow process, and women pastors were not automatically welcomed with open arms.  One afternoon a few months after I’d joined the church SK and I met for tea in downtown Hillsboro.  During our wide-ranging conversation the subject of her being called    [7]  to Grace Lutheran came up.  Specifically, I asked her how smooth the process had been:  did she feel accepted by all of the congregation, or at least the majority?

SK told me that her call to Grace Lutheran went smoothly, although she was aware that the final vote of the congregation (to accept her call to be one of their pastors) was not unanimous.  On her first Sunday at Grace Lutheran, the leaders of the congregation held a reception for SK in the church’s Fellowship Hall, after the worship service.  The reception wound down after about two hours, which was a relief to SK, who, although grateful for the warm greetings she’d received, was beginning to think her petit frame could not bear another well-meaning handshake or congratulatory hug from the throngs of parishioners who introduced themselves to and welcomed her.

SK headed to the Fellowship Hall kitchen, intent upon helping the staff with KP duty, when one of the few parishioners remaining in the Fellowship Hall approached her.  A Tall Elegantly Dressed Older Woman (TEDOW) smiled broadly at SK, introduced herself as a “long-time” Grace Lutheran member, and said, in a friendly tone of voice that belied the rebuffing sentiment she was about to utter, that she would like to take SK to lunch to tell SK why she had “voted against your call, as I don’t think you belong here.”

SK kept her composure, smiling in return as she thanked TEDOW for the lunch invitation…which SK declined.

Moiself  was impressed by SK’s graciousness under fire, so to speak, and even more so by the rational simplicity of her response:

“No, thank you.  I *am* here; I don’t have to defend my being here.”   [8]

 

“Someone hand me the mic so I can drop it.”

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [9]

 

*   *   *

May you have fond memories of a loved one’s post-colonoscopy rantings;
May you enjoy binging an old favorite TV series;
May you never have to defend your being where are you;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

 

[1] And oft times, stomp stomp stomp.

[2] Society for science; Courtesy photo from Lilly Downs.

[3] I suggested he go upstairs and sit or lie down, as he was rather wobbly standing.  He wanted to go up the stairs by himself; I insisted he hold on to the handrail, which he did, while vaulting up the stairs two at a time.  When I snapped at him to slow down he said, “It feels better this way!”

[4] Except when he’s high on Versed and flamboyantly rolling his r’s….

[5] But, I’ll take ’em!

[6] For example, some Unitarians consider themselves Christian, but were/are rejected by other Christian denominations because Unitarians affirm the “unity” of the “one god” and reject the Christian doctrine of the trinity established by the apostle Paul.  Thus they are (in Christian eyes) heretics, not apostates.

[7] Being called refers to the process by which churches find and employ their pastors.  It varies between denomination and churches; here’s the link to ELCA call processes.

[8] I never met TEDOW.  She (and her husband) left the congregation before I began attending.  According to another congregant whom I quizzed about the incident, TEDOW and her husband were opposed to female ordination and also had problems with the other ways in which they felt their church was embracing heresy/leaning more liberal, and when they left Grace Lutheran they made sure that certain people knew they were leaving and were “taking their money” with them (implying that they were generous financial supporters of the church, which, that person I spoke with said, they were *not.*).

[9] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

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