Department Of Good Sports
Dateline: Monday, April 2; a local yoga studio. My fellow yogis were gracious participants in my idea to play a belated April Fools’ Day prank on our equally gracious instructor.
If you’ve attended a yoga class and/or have a home practice, you may be familiar with the variety of props that may be used to attain and/or enhance certain asanas. [1]
Some people and classes use several props (e.g., blocks, straps and bolsters) while others use little to none. The classes I attend typically use a strap for a couple of poses, the blocks for maybe one or two, and bolsters for sitting and/or final relaxation. But it has always seemed to me that there was a prop missing. During poses targeting head and neck flexibility and strengthening or those concerned with posture or spinal alignment, when I hear the suggestion to lengthen the crown of your head, I think to moiself, “There ought to be a prop for that.”
April 1 fell on a Sunday. For Monday’s class, I was prepared. I’d purchased 24 paper crowns (Did you bring enough for everyone in the class, young lady?) and passed them out to my fellow yogis before class. The rest is history.
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Department Of, Who, Moiself – Foodie Trend-follower?
I love me some avocadoes. I consume at least half of one avocado per day, included in my breakfast or lunch, or sometimes dinner. [2] But it never occurred to me to use an avocado to construct that most trendy of foods items. Until now.
Oh, look, I made some avocado toast. To strive for authenticity, I’m thinking of charging moiself $15 for it.
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Department Of Things You Don’t Expect (Or Want) To See In Trader Joe’s Parking Lot
It was just another shopper, pushing another red Trader Joe’s shopping cart. Her cart was filled with groceries and there was a child [3] sitting in the kid seat portion of the cart. The other TJ Shopper ® and I were headed in the same direction; she was in front of me, and as I got closer to her I noticed something odd about the child. Its body size and movements (and the fact that it was sitting up unsupported) made me guess the kid was just under a year old, and its torso and limbs were in standard/chubby baby proportions…but the kid’s head was massively outsized, and blocky.
I quickened my pace and got a look at the child’s face. Yikes, to say the least. It was as if someone had gotten hold of a 3 D printer and superimposed the head of Ricky Gervais onto an eleven-month’s old body.
Now, I happen to admire much about that comic provocateur, Ricky Gervais. I’d love to espy his big head, say, one day when I glance through my office window and say, Isn’t that the multi-talented, stand-up comic/writer/actor/director/producer Ricky Gervais standing on my front porch?, and then I’d invite him in for a cup of tea and we can have a jolly good time poking fun at politics and religion and Caitlyn Jenner and other people who take themselves way too seriously. But to see that enormous mug of his on top of a baby’s neck….
For the briefest of moments I considered returning to TJ’s, buying up all the Two Buck Chuck in the store and drinking it in the backseat of my car.
I was going to try to find a couple of pictures online, [4] do some photo-shopping, and come up with something similar (to what I saw) to share with my readers. But it’s so kind of y’all to be reading this – I’ve no desire to ruin the rest of your day. Instead, here’s a more pleasant occupant-of-a-shopping-cart image for you to ponder.
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Department Of Do You Recognize Padding When You See It?
As you may have noticed, I’ve not much profound to say/report on this week.
Correction: actually, there is (too) much to say, much of it involving subjects that have been weighing on my mind recently. One of them is so bleak…think along the lines of articles by people even more thoughtful and articulate than moiself [5] who are willing to tackle such feel-good topics as
Robots taking human jobs causing hellish dystopia
Kurt Vonnegut’s Dystopian Future Has Come To Pass
Artificial Intelligence Will Best Humans At Everything By 2060, Experts Say
Not to be a downer or anything.
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May you already be working on next year’s April Fool’s Day shenanigans;
May you be pleasantly surprised by the next thing you see at a Trader Joe’s parking lot;
May you never pay $15 [6] for anything on toast;
…and may the hijinks ensue.
Thanks for stopping by. Au Vendredi!
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[1] Yoga poses or postures.
[2] Does anyone else remember when (to non-Californians) avocados were considered by some folk to be “exotic”?
[3] Presumably hers…although I noticed absolutely no familial resemblance.
[4] Of Mr. Gervais and random male babies.
[5] Make that, 100 times more….
[6] Not even if it’s platinum-plated caviar (and why you’d want to eat fish eggs – with or without plating – is beyond moiself).
