Department Of You Can’t Make Up This Shit
(Therefore, This Shit Must Have Come From A Deity?)
Regular readers of this blog are likely aware of my disdain for religious thought and supernaturalism but may also notice that I don’t often avail moiself of the opportunity to pick on religious minorities. This is partly because it’s the American Way ® to pick on one’s own “kind;” thus, I usually stick to trashing the absurdities of the dominant religion (Christianity) and culture from whence I hail. But thanks to the alertness of MH, who recently entertained me at the breakfast table by reading this, No – really…what?!?!? story, [1] moiself gets to diss some Jews.
Q: I live in a co-op in New York City that doesn’t have a doorman. The front door to the building locks automatically every evening at 9 p.m., and there is an electronic keypad outside that requires a code to open the door. I observe the Sabbath, and cannot use this keypad from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. There is a side door to the building with a keyed lock that leads to the basement, which has a staircase to the lobby. I requested a key to this door but was told it is not for use by any tenants. What responsibility does the co-op have to accommodate residents’ religious practices?
A: Your request for a key to enter a side door in order to adhere to your sincerely held religious belief of Sabbath observance should be honored by your co-op, unless there is a credible reason why tenants’ use of that entrance is dangerous….
“If the co-op flatly rejected your request, you can sue for discrimination because they are effectively making the building unavailable to observant Jews,” said Andrew Lieb, who practices discrimination law in New York….
( excerpts, “I Can’t Use My Co-op’s Keypad Entry on the Sabbath. Am I Entitled to a Side Door Key? Because of your religious beliefs, your co-op could face legal liability if it fails to accommodate your request.” NY Times, Real Estate, 6-29-24 )
Pressing a keypad, that’s forbidden “work.” But the work of inserting a key and turning the doorknob, hey, that’s kosher.
Adherents of conservative/observant Judaism have for centuries dumbfounded the world with their interpretation of their god’s demand for slavish observations of absurd personal and social restrictions – what a surprise! Y’all never would have guessed that unless moiself pointed it out, right?
After reading the above-mentioned article MH was curious as to where the restrictions come from and how they are interpreted. The World o’ Google provided several ludicrous helpful explanations, including the fact that the door keypad uses electricity, and “…the spark which causes electricity is, technically, the kindling of a flame,” and sure enough there is a flame-prohibition in the Torah (Exodus 35:3, ” Ye shall kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day.”).
Hmmm…yeah…okay. That thing about the flames? I wonder how the ultraconservative Jews, who are the driving force behind Israel’s current military policies, feel about kindling the most lethal kind of flame – bombing Palestinians – on the sabbath?
* * *
Department Of It Gets Even Better
I am familiar with one of the more ingenious ways ever invented re getting around religious restrictions : that of the Shabbat Goy. The SG is a non-Jew hired by Jews to perform services (such as turning lights on and off) which are forbidden to orthodox Jews on the Sabbath. Thinking of this made me, once again, miss my dear/sweet “best bud” from high school (whose initials were [2] conveniently SG), with whom I would trade observations and giggles about the tenets of our respective religions. SG was Jewish (his family was not strictly observant ), and one lazy school afternoon he tried to get me to you’ve-got-to-be-kidding stage by telling me stories about outlandish Jewish Sabbath requirements and restrictions, after which I offered to be his Shabbat Goy, no charge. But he missed the mark by keeping this one from me:
“It is forbidden to rip toilet paper on Shabbat, and doing so may be a violation of several melachot. [3] This is true whether one cuts the toilet paper along the perforated lines or in between them. Most authorities classify tearing toilet paper (or attached tissues) under the melachot of koraya (tearing), mechatech (measured cutting), and/or makeh b’patish (finishing touches).[ As such, one must be sure to cut toilet paper before Shabbat or use tissues that are dispensed one-by-one. Indeed, a roll of toilet paper is muktza [4] on Shabbat and may not be used or moved unless one is faced with no alternative….
In the event that one did not prepare toilet paper or tissues before Shabbat, one may hint, or if need be, directly ask a non-Jew to cut some toilet paper….”
( excerpts, my emphases, from Tearing Toilet Paper on Shabbat, by Rabbi Ari Enkin )
Restrictions on tearing toilet paper. Toilet paper. A hygienic invention which didn’t even exist when those Iron age desert sheepherders decided to codify their ignorance. And considering the friction-producing urgency with which some people are known to…uh…employ…toilet paper, might its usage also put you in danger for violating the rule against kindling a flame?
No; seriously. And how much would you have to pay a Shabbat Goy to kindle wipe …uh, perform that task for you?
And as for the Attorney who counseled the tenet to sue on the grounds of discrimination against his religion? Oy, oh, for a forthright lawyer, who would get to the point:
“Dude, the only discrimination here is that your religion is
discriminating against your brain.”
* * *
Department Of Here Come The Games
I don’t watch many sports on TV, but moiself looooovvvvveeeeessssss watching the Olympic Games. Both the winter and summer versions turn me into a Happy Sloth couch potato. I have withdrawals when they are over, when, after the summer Olympics for example, I realize I no longer have the opportunity to watch highlights from a volleyball game [5] every night.
And I love watching as the teams playing for country of my ancestors, Norway, win more medals per capita in the winter games (and no awaads for fashion sense).
However, the nationalism (read: obnoxious chants of USA! USA!) of the fans and the media coverage gets to me. I couldn’t put it better than travel guru Rick Steves, in his recent monthly newsletter:
“Even as I root for Team USA, as a traveler, I also find myself getting caught up cheering on athletes from distant lands. Whether it’s Hungarians at water polo, the French at team handball, a Norwegian rower, or a Bulgarian weightlifter, it’s fun to venture beyond the Simone Biles du jour — and pick a few non-American athletes to get behind, too.
And then there’s the medal count. Each evening, the news ranks the countries of the world based on the total number of medals they’ve collected…which Team USA always seems to dominate. (In the 2021 Tokyo Games, we snagged 112 medals, besting China with 84, Russian athletes with 71, and Great Britain with 62.)
Every time I see that list, I’m reminded of years ago, when a Dutch friend pointed out that while the United States usually wins the most medals, we also have a huge population and the biggest GDP — which means more athletes to choose from, and more money for training and equipment. If the playing field were leveled, the results would look quite different.
Consider this back-of-the-napkin math: At the Tokyo Games, the USA grabbed the most gold medals with 39, followed by China, Japan, and Great Britain. But if we look at the ‘medal count’ on a per capita basis — golds won per citizen — Team USA is wayyy down the list (between Ecuador and South Korea). We won one gold medal per 8.6 million citizens. And who’s at the top of the per capita list? Bermuda (a gold for every 72,000 people), followed by the Bahamas (a gold for each 176,000) and Slovenia (a gold per 700,000 Slovenes).
Of course, I don’t mean to take anything away from the remarkable accomplishments of our American athletes. But when you approach the Olympics — or, really, anything — with a global perspective, it’s more honest…and more insightful. That’s why, as good travelers and thoughtful global citizens, with each Olympic Games we can imagine how smaller countries cheer on their teams — and have some extra fun by seeing things from their point of view.”
( excerpts, Rick Steves Travel News July 2024,
“Hi from Rick: Go Team USA…Go Team World!” )
* * *
Department Of The Next Book On My Reading List [6]
That would be The Science Of Weird Shit. Can’t imagine why moiself would be attracted to a book with that title, can you?
Subtitled, Why Our Minds Conjure The Paranormal, TSOWS is the latest book by British professor, psychologist and researcher Chris French, a recent guest on Alan Alda’s Clear + Vivid podcast . French is a leader in the field of anomalistic psychology; [7] his research centers on the psychology of paranormal beliefs and anomalous experiences (including, e.g., the claims of psychic abilities, ghosts, UFO abductions, and astrology). French, at once both entertaining and serious, emphasized to Alda the importance of understanding why people believe in the paranormal, and why he thus supports taking these claims seriously to explore the underlying psychological factors involved.
French studies the science of the paranormal not because he believes paranormal phenomenon are true – he doesn’t; he identifies as a skeptic who used to believe in such things when he was in his 20s. No matter how such studies turn out, French holds that studying the paranormal may help to further explain how the human brain works – as in (my interpretation) may answer the question about how and why so many of us fall for this crap despite decades and even centuries of scientists debunking psychic readers, seers, spoon-bending illusionists, astrologists and the lot.
Alda:
“…what about being skeptical – why is it important? Some people get support from beliefs like this: Why is it important to be skeptical, and to spread that skepticism?”
French:
“My own personal position is I’m happy for people to believe whatever they want to, as long as it doesn’t have negative repercussions for other people. And as you say, a lot of people do get great comfort – particularly from religious beliefs…maybe believing in life after death – then, I wouldn’t want to take that away from them. But….science is all about how the world really works, and I’m afraid that is not a question then of just thinking, ‘Well, how would we *like* it to be?’ It’s a matter of trying to figure out, as best we can, what the truth is, about the universe, and it may be that the truth is something that we wouldn’t feel all that comfortable with… “
Alda and French go on to discuss famous/historical cases of the paranormal wherein the practitioners either admitted, years later, of their deceit (including that of Kate and Margaretta Fox, the two sisters responsible for the birth of “spiritualism” and the séance craze of the 1800s, admitted their fraud after 40 years, and said that they started out just wanting to prank their mother) or had their methods and results disproven either by scientists or fraud exposers…. And yet, some true believers, even after their palm reader or seer (or pastor) has been proven to be a charlatan, continue to hold to their particular paranormal beliefs. What purpose(s) does it serve the believers, that they want to continue to believe that, say, their beloved, long dead uncle Roy was communicating to them in the séance, answering yes or no questions via making rapping sounds, when the Fox sisters admitted that the rapping was them cracking their joints under the table?
When it comes to those who take paranormal seriously moiself vacillates between the attitudes of whatever floats your boat (just as long as you’re not teaching my kids or trying to influence public policy) and No way, reality matters, and those willing to accept fuzzy thinking in one matter are likely to fall prey to it in other areas. I want to be compassionate for those who take comfort in illusions, even as I question how that compassion can be condescending, because illusion is the ultimate example of short term thinking: your illusions are likely, sooner or later, to break down under the weight of reality, and thus illusions do not benefit either the individual or the culture and society. Being willing to set aside reality for what you have been told are the comforts of illusion and supernaturalism can be devastating, as evidenced by what happens when a growing number of individuals believe, or accept – and elect – frauds and charlatans.
* * *
Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week [8]
“Superstition sets the whole world in flames, but philosophy douses them.”
( French Enlightenment writer, philosopher Voltaire, 1765 )
“But wait – this means that observant, non-flame-kindling Jews can’t be superstitious on the sabbath?”
* * *
Parting Shot: I love it when/I hate it when…
I love it when I think about the Olympic games in Paris, and wishing they would have a special event – the fastest and most stereotypically Parisian waiter’s disregarding of an Ugly American ® tourist who is asking for the check.
The first one to overlook the request for l ‘addition wins.
* * *
May you enjoy watching at least one obscure (to you) sport
during the Summer Olympics;
May you never put money into a paranormal practitioner’s pocket
(even for “entertainment” purposes);
May you never believe that there are divine restrictions on tearing toilet tissue;
…and may the hijinks ensue.
Thanks for stopping by. Au Vendredi!
* * *
[1] As contrasted with those who suffer from constipation.
[2] SG died way too young, when he was in his 30s.
[3] Melachot are 39 classes of activities which Jewish law prohibits on the Sabbath.
[4] Muktzeh (“separated” or “set aside”) refers to items that are forbidden or whose uses are restricted on the Sabbath (Shabbat) or other Jewish holidays.
[5] I prefer the indoor, six person per team version, but beach Vball will do – the men’s teams, that is. Having played volleyball on the beach moiself, I cannot abide the women’s vball team’s “uniforms” of bungee cords up the butt. Why can’t they wear shorts, like the men’s teams? That sand gets everywhere….
[6] The list which has about 100 books already ahead of it… Unless I put it to the front of a line which I often do with the new shiny thing, and so the poor other books get, once again, pushed down the line…
[7] Anomalistic psychology is the study of human experiences and behaviors that are often called paranormal, without making many assumptions about the validity of the reported phenomena. It aims to explain these experiences and beliefs using known psychological and physical factors. (Goldsmiths University, “What is Anomalistic Psychology?”)
[8] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists. No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.” Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org
