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The Rejection I’m Not Minding

March 28, 2025

Robyn Parnell annoyances, are we having fun yet? (Women & Men & Feminism), movies, Oregon, politics, radio & podcasts, school, science, TV, Wow, Yikes! , , , , , , , , , , Comments Off on The Rejection I’m Not Minding

Department Of A New Way To Handle Rejection

Context:  Although I am not currently   [1]  writing nor submitting fiction for publication, I do keep up with some fiction markets and occasionally send something I think might be a fit for a specific journal/publisher.  Dateline: last week.  I received a standard rejection email.  It was sent to my correct email address (robyn@ ____.com) , and disguised as a personal note:  it was longer than the standard, thanks-but-it’s-not-a-fit-for-us note, but when you read closely you realize the plethora of sentences after the no thanks are about the publisher and nothing about you or your work – all they had to do was fill in your name…which was done in this entertaining (to moiself ) fashion:

“Dear Sarah,
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to evaluate _____( name of work)
in view of its potential fit with (name of the publisher)….I’m very sorry to tell you that we regretfully….”

I can take some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t *my* work that was so regretfully rejected, but that of my evil twin, Sarah.    [2]

 

 

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Department Of Speaking Of Writing Adventures

My next project: I’m going to pitch Netflix with my idea for a historical series, ala  Bridgerton. It will be about upper-class women navigating the intricacies of their menstrual cycles during the Regency era. It’s a period piece.

 

 

 

Thank you; I’ll show moiself  out.

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of But Before Moiself  Embarks On That Adventure,
There Is Feedback To Be Given

Feedback in the form of the following email, which I sent Monday afternoon, to one of my favorite podcast hosts (journalist Shankar Vedantam) of one of my favorite podcasts.     [3]

 

 

Dear Mr. Vedantam,

Big fan of your podcast here – I’m a regular listener, who often gives Hidden Brain a shout-out (and link to) in my blog.  I’m writing to give feedback on something that caught my attention in HB’s most recent episode, The Moments That Change Us.

Early on in the episode, you and the podcast’s guest, philosopher Laurie Paul, are discussing the life-altering events for John Newton, the 18th century English slave ship captain who later wrote the hymn Amazing Grace.  When Newton was very young his very religious mother died, and his father remarried, leaving Newton feeling abandoned.  Subsequently, Newton, as you put it, “soon found himself not only turning away from religion but against it…he became what you might call a *militant atheist*….”

Why did you choose to use the term  militant atheist, a derogatory neologism which certainly wasn’t in usage among Newton’s peers?

Militant atheist is a lazy rhetorical cliché, a label ala the (much wittier) “Four Horsemen of the New Atheist Apocalypse,” which itself is a riff on the violence-infused imagery of end-times Christian scriptures.  The “Four Horsemen of the New Atheist Apocalypse” refers to four particular scientists/philosophers/authors/journalists – Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens – known for their respective, vigorous, droll, evidence-based critiques of religion.  Each of them have also been labeled as  militant atheists.

When did Dawkins, Harris, Dennett and Hitchens ever arm themselves with AK47s?  Have they amassed a cache of IEDs?  Have they opened a school for training atheist suicide bombers?  The closest they’ve come to tossing grenades are the ideas they lob to point out the delusions of religious tenets and the dangers of applying religious-based constraints to politics and science.

When is the last time you encountered an armed, violent group of atheists bent on murdering a political cartoonist or stabbing a fiction author because they objected to the religious editorial content of the cartoonists’ and authors’ respective works?

How’s about we all agree to not precede the term atheist – which simply means, a person sans theism – with militant, unless that non-theist is actually engaging in the violent acts of a militia?

The main proponents of the term  militant atheist are religious propagandizers:  “You atheists are so militant!”  Translation: “I am upset that you who do not hold my religious beliefs are unapologetically and forthrightly invoking facts to support your critical thinking.”

(from Oxford Languages dictionary)
Militant: adjective – combative and aggressive in support of a political or social cause,
and typically favoring extreme, violent, or confrontational methods.

Being described as “militant” is dismissive to we who hold natural (as opposed to supernatural) worldviews.  We who are religion-free are not subject to the actual militancy of scriptural decrees and religious leaders’ admonitions, which are depressingly too common to list in their entirety.  A sampler from Christian scriptures includes:

 * “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” (Matthew 10:34)

* “He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.” (Luke 22:3)

* (from one of Jesus’s parables) “But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me.’”  (Luke 19:27)

* “For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.”  (Romans 13:4)

*  “…whoever would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether young or old, man or woman.”  (2 Chronicles 15:12-13)

* “But if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.  For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”  (Isaiah 1:20)

* “The high places of Isaac will be destroyed and the sanctuaries of Israel will be ruined; with my sword I will rise against the house of Jeroboam.” (Amos 7:9)

Sure, many of us atheists/Freethinkers/Humanists/Skeptics get annoyed, frustrated, and sometimes even outraged at the supernatural folly we are surrounded by.   Human Psychology 101 alert:  People who are misunderstood, mischaracterized, denigrated, oppressed, and even attacked (physically as well as verbally) frequently become angry.  Remember how “militant” was applied to the Black Power and Feminist groups of the 1960s and 1970s?

We who are religion-free would simply like to be able to express our beliefs without encountering vitriol and discrimination.  We would simply like to acknowledge our views against and concerns about religious influence in public and civic life – yep, even in front of religious people, who have become accustomed to the arbitrary privilege of freedom from critique which is accorded religion in the United States (a country where seven states still have bans on atheists holding public office ).

Sincerely and compellingly (if not militantly) yours,

Robyn Parnell

 

 

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Department Of Letting The Mystery Be

Only two weeks ago I blogged about my wistfulness re the unlikelihood of successfully pulling off a prank in this there-are-cameras-everywhere world  ( The Pranks I’m No Longer Playing ).  However, one of my neighbors (?    [4]   ) has done so. 

 

 

 

A couple of weeks ago MH showed me the above, which was tied to one of the branches of our pear tree in our front yard.  Yes, this is the same tree that gets a feature in this blog during the holiday season, when the tree hosts a rotating/weekly lineup of Partridge Family ® members, ala: 

 

 

 

 

Those omnipresent neighborhood  porch/house/garage cameras I mentioned?   MH and I have them, as well.  The cameras are sensitive enough (to our irritation) that they record when someone just walks past our front yard, on the sidewalk      [5]…which goes by the pear tree…which means we could figure out who did it.

Moiself  thinks it’s best to not know the specifics; rather, it’s fun to hold good thoughts for the entire neighborhood.  I’ll just let the mystery be.

 

 

 

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week     [6]

 

*   *   *

May you be the grateful recipient of a heart-warming prank;
May you reserve epithets like militant for true militants;
May you, sometimes, just let the mystery be;
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] As in 99.2% of the time not….

[2] who apparently has gotten hold of both my manuscript and my email address, that plagiarizing bitch.

[3] Which regular readers of this blog are aware of me recommending, along the lines of, “you must listen to this episode….”

[4] Moiself  is guessing/assuming.

[5] We receive a notification that someone activated the front porch camera , though no one in fact it is on our front porch, they’re just walking past our house.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Incomplete List Of Summer Entertainment I’m Not Recommending

July 7, 2023

Robyn Parnell annoyances, are we having fun yet? (Women & Men & Feminism), community, current events, freethought/humanism, friends, general ruminations, health & wellness, Holy Shit!, Isms (religion), music, radio & podcasts, science, TV, Wow, YEE HAW!, Yikes! , , , , , , , , , Comments Off on The Incomplete List Of Summer Entertainment I’m Not Recommending

Department Of Not That You Asked…

But if you did, perchance, query moiself  thusly – “Robyn, what’s a song with an inspiringly aspirational and quirky chorus to sing along to?” I’d recommend Ingrid Michaelson’s You and I:

♫  Oh, let’s get rich
And buy our parents homes in the South of France
Let’s get rich
And give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Let’s get rich
And build a house on a mountain, making everybody look like ants
From way up there
You and I, you and I  ♫

 

But let’s not give everybody sweaters like this.

 

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Department Of Not That You Asked, The Sequel

It also didn’t occur to you to ask me for a what-to-watch-on-a-streaming-service recommendation.  But since you were so pleased with my sing-along recommendation, now you’re on to, “And what’s your recommendation for a good stand up comedy performance to give me the summer giggles?”  To which I enthusiastically reply:

Wanda Sykes‘ latest standup special, “I’m An Entertainer.”

 

 

Worth the price of admission   [1]  alone are Syke’s bits where she incorporates her gift for physical comedy/pantomime along with her sharp observational wit.  There are too many such sketches to list here, but they include what really goes on in women’s restrooms, fantasizing about men’s men-o-pause afflictions, and where the frightened senators and representatives should have hidden on January 6 for maximum protection (suggestion: underneath Mitch McConnell‘s chin). Other Syke’s stories/observations range from the political to the personal and often a combination of the two, as in explaining white supremacy and privilege to her white family (her wife and two kids).

As for the latter, Sykes employs her ongoing, subtly hilarious (to moiself , at least) imitation of her French wife, which includes an ever-present “air cigarette.”   And as for the voice she assumes when pretending to speak as her wife…well…as Sykes herself might put it, Sykes cannot do a French accent to save her black ass.

Sidenote: Sykes has admitted  [2]    that her wife has un petit problème  with the way Sykes portrays her on stage.  She knows it’s for comic effect and mining the stereotype, but she (Sykes’ wife), in fact, does *not* smoke cigarettes.

About the black ass comment: you’ll hear a lot of strong, “adult” language in Syke’s routines.   If you’re not a fan of such…colloquialisms…moiself  hopes you can listen to what she is saying, instead of how she is saying it.    [3]  

 

French, oui; Wanda’s wife, non.

 

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Department Of Not That You Asked, The Sequel To The Sequel

Ah, summer, the season of sun and fun and light entertainment.  And since you’ve been over the proverbial moon with my previous two recommendations, now you’re begging me for something a little more brain-stretching, such as:  “How’s about one of those sciency-type podcasts you listen to?”  Well, moiself  aims to please.

 

 

Ahem.

Get your ears and brains to the Hidden Brain podcast.  A recent episode, which I highly recommend, is titled, The Best Years of Your Life:

” Aging isn’t just a biological process. Our outlooks and emotions also change as we age, often in ways that boost our well-being. Psychologist Laura Carstensen unpacks the science behind this surprising finding, and shares what all of us can learn from older people.”

Early in the episode Carstensen tells the story of what led to her spending time with older people in care facilities, which caused her to realize her commonality with them and which also provided her with an aha moment:

“…the insight I had about aging…is that aging is a *biological* process, but it is driven and shaped by the *social* world.”

Moiself  has written, previously and more extensively, about the social prejudice against aging which is, as I see it, the most universal and illogical of prejudices.  Gender; economic class; nationality; ethnic background; worldview and/or religion – we will all be Old People® someday (unless we die when we’re younger. or, RIGHT NOW).  But this particular podcast episode isn’t so much about the prejudices re aging –  although of course, they are mentioned, as, for example, in the episode’s intro:

“Movies, tv shows, and the fashion industry, still worship at the altar of youth.  People around the word spend billions of dollars on potions, injections, and surgical interventions, to keep the signs of age at bay.  Clickbait ads on many websites show you what the stars of yesteryears look like today.  The message couldn’t be clearer:  Aging is a terrible thing; growing old is a horror show. “

 

( AARP image )

 

Like podcast guest Carstensen, the much-younger version of moiself  rarely considered the ramifications of aging.  Unlike the younger version of moiself , the younger Carstensen was in a horrific car crash at age 21.  In the months following the accident, when she was in hospital and rehab wards with very elderly women, Carstensen started to realize what she and they had in common and began to think about her future, as in, thinking about getting older. Later on, when Carstensen completed her education and began to do research, what she learned surprised her –  and others in her field –  when comprehensive studies began to contradict the myths of aging.

Eventually Carstensen became part of investigative teams involved in the largest study ever done on the psychopathology of aging.  Subsequent studies reaffirmed the surprising results – surprising as in, given the prejudices we’ve all been sold on what happends to aging minds.  The data overwhelmingly and repeatedly flew in the face of prejudice, intuition, and cultural beliefs, and showed that which came to be referred to as “the paradox of aging.”  Which is that, absent debilitating illness:

The older years are the happiest and most stable and psychopathology free for most people.    [4]

 

Carstensen:
“Increasingly, older people had less negative emotions – less fear; less anger; less disgust, and just as much happiness and joy and calm…. older people were happier in their day to day lives than younger people were….

The paradox really was that aging entails a lot of bad things: cognitively, people often do change, or feel their memory isn’t as good…not to mention the physical changes with age – most of us experience more aches and pains. And then we’re in the societal context: people aren’t taking us as seriously as they used to; there’s an invisibility people talk about, when they get old, that people walk almost right through them, and they just aren’t noticed…and so with all of that happening with aging…how can it be that older people, emotionally, are doing well?….”

Podcast host Shankar Vidantam:
“Social status; physical health…if all those things  (decline)…you would predict that the people would then have worse psychological health, and yet (the studies showed) that psychological well-being seemed to be improving.”

That’s enough of a preview – listen for y’alls selves, if the subject interests you.  Really, it’s great news for everyone…well, almost everyone.

This fact –  that as people age they become happier with their day to day lives than younger people – is not going to sell many anti-aging medications or procedures.  Unless, of course, the fear of living mongers geniuses in advertising reverse their strategy.  Instead of concentrating their efforts to convince ever-younger groups – people in their 30s and even 20s – that they need anti-aging procedures, they can start marketing *maturing* procedures:

“Everyone knows that the senior years are the best years of your life.  Don’t let the visible limitations of your youth determine how you and others see yourself.  Want to look years happier than you actually are?  Let us add a few laugh and smile lines to your sullen, immature, angst-ridden visage…”

 

 

*   *   *

Department of Employee Of The Month

 

 

It’s that time again, to bestow that prestigious award upon moiself.   Again. The need for which I wrote about here.   [5] 

 

*   *   *

Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week    [6]

“…. (Ricky Gervais) explained how he became an atheist, recounting an afternoon at home when he was about 8. His mother was ironing and he was drawing Jesus on the cross as part of his bible studies homework.  His brother, Bob, 11 years older than Ricky, asked him why he believed in God, a question which mortified their mother. Gervais remembered thinking,

‘Why was that a bad thing to ask? If there was a god and my faith was strong, it didn’t matter what people thought. Oh … hang on. There is no God. He knows it, and she knows it deep down. It was as simple as that. I started thinking about it and asking more questions, and within an hour I was an atheist.’ “

(from FFRF’s Freethinker of the Day, Richy Gervais  )

 

 

 

*   *   *

May your peers (or your own self) recognize you as Employee of the Month;
May you be entertained by the art of Wanda Sykes and Ingrid Michaelson;
May we all aspire to “give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance;”
…and may the hijinks ensue.

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

*   *   *

[1] Which is free, if you’re a Netflix subscriber.  Still…worth it.

[2] In previous standup specials or interviews, I can’t remember which.

[3] A practice we should all aspire to in our dealings with anyone, oui ?

[4] The surprising results only helped to affirm the results – as in, more scientists wanted to check the studies and do their own, because what the data showed refuted the “common wisdom.”  Which was, the guest noted, “the best thing for a scientist,” because having others check your work and do their own work is the best way to confirm data.

[5] Several years ago, MH received a particularly glowing performance review from his workplace. As happy as I was for him when he shared the news, it left me with a certain melancholy I couldn’t quite peg.  Until I did.

One of the many “things” about being a writer (or any occupation working freelance at/from home) is that although you avoid the petty bureaucratic policies, bungling bosses, mean girls’ and boys’ cliques, office politics and other irritations inherent in going to a workplace, you also lack the camaraderie and other social perks that come with being surrounded by your fellow homo sapiens.  No one praises me for fixing the paper jam in the copy machine, or thanks me for staying late and helping the new guy with a special project, or otherwise says, Good on you, sister. Once I realized the source of the left-out feelings, I came up with a small way to lighten them.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org

The Kosher (Electricity) I’m Not Keeping

May 12, 2023

Robyn Parnell Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Department Of Apropos Of Nothing…

Last night I dreamed I wrote an ode to “Avocado,” sung to the tune, “Desperado.” In my dream I was singing it, but come wake time I couldn’t remember the new lyrics I wrote.

 

Perhaps Abby, my Emotional Support Avocado, will help me remember.

 

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Department Of Random Thoughts From Last Week

Darteline:  Monday afternoon, circa 3pm; caught in a sudden downpour – the proverbial cloudburst –  while driving home from a movie theater.  The rain is coming down so hard and blinding my wipers are on full speed and it’s still very difficult to see the road ahead of me.  Moiself  is able to make out the silhouette of a motorcycle in front of me, and for the first time in my life, I find moiself  wondering how motorcyclists navigate under similar conditions.  Do the visors on their helmets have wipers?  How do they prevent their visors from fogging up?

I googled “motorcycle helmet with rain wiper,” and for some reason this image appeared.  I’m thinking, maybe not the cutting edge in road safety?

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of Religion’s Gift To The World

Regular readers of this blog (and other persons less emotionally disturbed) know that moiself  has no qualms when it comes to quarreling with the absurdities of the faith traditions and practices I grew up with (read: Christianity).  But, despite a certain religion having given the world centuries of comic-worthy material moiself  had mostly kept away from doing the same with Judaism.  Until a juicy nugget, in the form of a story about Israel’s utility classification and manipulation, fell into my petty hands….

Of course I’m not making up the following – there’s no need to.  Because, religion.

 

 

( Excerpts from  “Israel readies ‘kosher electricity’ for ultra-Orthodox households” (Washington Post, 5-7-23)
“Religious Israelis may soon have access to electric power that rabbis have approved for use during the weekly Sabbath, a techno-spiritual innovation that reflects…the power of ultra-Orthodox parties in Israel’s new government.
The program, unofficially dubbed ‘kosher electricity,’…would direct the national power utility to build…massive battery banks in and around ultra-Orthodox communities. These batteries would top up through the week with electricity from the public utility and dispense it during Shabbat hours, providing a workaround to rabbinical rules against plugging into the national grid from sundown on Fridays to sundown on Saturdays….”

Because it’s okay to enjoy the benefits of electrically powered appliances, but their devious little switches, look out!  THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH – it’s WORK.

 

“Not to worry; it’s clap on, clap off.”

 

This antediluvian foolishness aside, it’s one thing to live in a world of primitive superstitions and subjugate yourself to Bronze Age rites and red tape.  It’s another thing to demand that your fellow citizens make allowances for you *and* pay for you to do so:

“Since Israel’s founding, the ultra-Orthodox – also called the Haredim – have been exempted from military service, which is mandatory for all Jewish Israeli school leavers. The various ultra-Orthodox sects see it as a religious commandment to only study Jewish texts and separate themselves from modern society. They consequently receive government subsidies to study rather than work, along with general social services and benefits relating to unemployment, poverty and their large numbers of children.
( How anger over taxes and conscription is widening split among Israel’s Jews,”
The Guardian; my emphases )

 

Yahweh knows we can’t pick up our welfare checks if we’re in boot camp or practicing tank drills.

 

“Thousands marched for a ‘Day of Disruption to Demand Equality’ focused on the unequal burdens of citizenship and status of the ultra-Orthodox….
Ultra-Orthodox citizens are largely shielded from the country’s mandatory draft and educational standards and their families benefit from heavy public subsidies that allow boys and men to devote years to religious study instead of working and paying taxes in the mainstream economy….

One man marching in the ultra-Orthodox city of Bnei Brak wore a slogan that translated as ‘My son is willing to die on his tank; your son will not die studying Torah’…

‘They are not carrying with us, they are not part of society,” said Dafna Goldenberg, who served in a tank unit in the 1980s…. ‘I’m deeply worried that it will all collapse.’
(excerpts from “Israelis call out perks for ultra-Orthodox in latest protests,”
The Washington Post )

The ultra-Orthodox are the fastest-growing demographic in Israel, and the most insistent in pushing Israel’s government toward an even more hawkish, pro-military action, anti-Palestinian agenda.  Yet the Haredim expect (even insist) that everyone but them do the dirty work.  [1]   IMO it’s going to be a major factor in Israel’s inevitable downfall.   [2]

 

“Will the last person leaving Bnei Brak please ask his Shabbos goy to turn off the synagogue’s kosher lights?”

 

*   *   *

Department Of The Blog I Had To Stop Listening To

That would be the recent episode – Success 2.0: Taking the Leap of one of my favorite blogs, Hidden Brain.  The episode is introduced thusly (my emphases):

“American culture celebrates those who persevere in the face of adversity. So how do we know when to walk away from something that’s not working? Today, we kick off our new “Success 2.0” series with economist John List. He says in every domain of our lives, it’s important to know when to pivot to something new.”

After going through some legislative/corporate/business examples of should-I-stay-or-should-I-go? Should-we-fight-for-this-or-switch-tactics? dilemmas, guest List gave an example from his own life, of when he experienced the same predicament re his dissatisfaction with his marriage to his former high school sweetheart.

John List:
“This really caused me to step back, and think about whether I should end the marriage.  And I started to think, “Well look, I have five kids…and I’ve invested a lot in this relationship and this family, and I don’t want to waste that…so I  decided to give it a go.
And the next few months were difficult, and by the time the summer rolled around I was holed up mentally, I was keeping everything in, I was making occasional snide comments, to my wife – I really wasn’t a great husband or father.  So I said, ‘Well, give it some more time,’ and then six more months went by and I found myself even more miserable and making my wife’s life miserable…and that’s when I asked for a divorce.
This of course was a very difficult decision, as it went against everything I had been taught…and I really felt it was important to keep the family intake, especially for the kids, and I just realized that I was growing tired of making the rest of the family suffer during these dreadful times, and that’s when I decided to ask for a divorce….”

Oooohhhh…ick.  Really?

His whiny self-justification made me wanna….

 

 

“I was growing tired of making the rest of the family suffer.”  Well, then, stop making them suffer – that’ll be one less thing to make you tired. (And his kids were suffering?  Duh. They were starting to realize that they had a self-absorbed asshole for a father).

“I found myself even more miserable.” What passive language.   [3]   You just happened to *find* yourself miserable?

No where in List’s story does he mention seeking counseling,    [4]  or doing any kind of active or introspective work to find out what had led him to the point that he would consider abandoning a long-time marriage and FIVE children.  Rather, he whines to himself about his own discontent.  Why didn’t this educator and author, “noted for his pioneering contributions to field experiments in economics,”    [5]   turn his supposedly keen analytical mind to the most important field “experiment” of all – that of raising and nurturing a family?

When it comes to marriage and relationships, moiself  is in no way one of those *suck it up and be miserable no matter what the cost* people.  Still…we’re not talking about a corporate ad campaign that needs to be retooled or dumped, or a legislative initiative that needs to be tabled.  We’re talking “pivoting to something new” as in leaving your wife and your children?  As in, your family; your people – not corporations or career or educational plans. Human beings. A bit more difficult to just walk away from when “it isn’t working,” and rightly so.

 

 

List whimpers about being unhappy and moping for six months and making everyone else in his family unhappy.  Dude, do the work.  Find out what caused your attitude.  Do whatever you have to do to stop sulking and making others unhappy, instead of using their unhappiness – which you admit you caused – to justify your decision.  Yep, I’m calling List out, without further or in-depth knowledge of his personal story, but he’s the one who told his story in such a shallow, self-serving way.

From what I’ve read over the past couple of decades on this subject – from studies done by the organizations from the National Institute of Health to Psychology Today, to articles written by marriage and family counselors –  the evidence can be summed up in a headline I saw a few years ago.  Moiself  cannot recall the heading verbatim, but can summarize it:  Absent emotional or physical abuse, guess what – Your kids don’t care if *you’re* unfulfilled/bored/unhappy.  Kids want an intact family.

“Should You Stay Together Only for the Kids?

Many parents believe that divorce will cause irreparable damage to their children. Some parents are so worried about this that they remain in unhappy, conflict-ridden, or even abusive marriages. What does the research say? Is it always best to stay together for the kids?

The short-term answer is usually yes. Children thrive in predictable, secure families with two parents who love them and love each other. Separation is unsettling, stressful, and destabilizing unless there is parental abuse or conflict.”

(Psychology Today 5-29-19 )

 

 

*   *   *

 

 

Department Of,  And In A Related Story….

Dateline: Wednesday afternoon.  MH, working from home, walked downstairs from his office to my office, with a perplexed look on his face.  He told me he’d been catching up on some podcast listening while doing some mundane tasks, and he had a lot of Hidden Brain episodes in his podcast feed, and he started listening to a recent one in which the guest, a supposedly intelligent man, relayed a personal story which really put MH off by the man’s self-centered passivity and lack of self-awareness….

“Let me guess,” moiself  interjected.  “I bet it’s the podcast I’m blogging about this Friday.”

 

 

*   *   *

Department Of The Best Bumper Stickers I’ve Seen Recently…

Other than my current crop, of course.

 

 

The folllowing two, on the back of a burgundy minivan in front of me yesterday, made me pull over to the side of the road to laugh (and write them down):

My Driving Scares Me, Too

Condoms Prevent Minivans

 

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Freethinkers’ Thought Of The Week    [6]

George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and Christians love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd.

( Neuroscientist, author and philosopher Sam Harris )

 

Are you there, god?  It’s me, Georgie.

 

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May you savor the petty satisfaction of turning off a podcast which annoys you;
May your motorcycle helmet be both stylish and safety-enhancing;
May you relish the freedom to use electric appliances at any time of any day;

Thanks for stopping by.  Au Vendredi!

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[1] From serving in the military and harassing and killing Palestinian citizens, to hiring a shabbos goy to push a fucking button on their sabbath.

[2] Inevitable, to moiself.  Do the math: Israel is surrounded/outnumbered by their enemies, and seem determined to keep enemies as enemies instead of working toward peacefully co-existing with their neighbors and finding a humane solution to – or even acknowledging – the mistreatment and displacement of Palestinians.

[3] Along with that passive-aggressive classic, “Mistakes were made.”

[4] possibly starting for himself alone, but also couples counseling.

[5] As per his Wikipedia bio.

[6] “free-think-er n. A person who forms opinions about religion on the basis of reason, independently of tradition, authority, or established belief. Freethinkers include atheists, agnostics and rationalists.   No one can be a freethinker who demands conformity to a bible, creed, or messiah. To the freethinker, revelation and faith are invalid, and orthodoxy is no guarantee of truth.”  Definition courtesy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, ffrf.org